‘Why Didn’t Anyone Intervene?’

I was with my nephew at a restaurant when a young woman with multiple gang-like tattoos responded to a child who was with her in angry and obscene language. I quietly made a comment to her, not only for my 8-year-old nephew’s sake but for her children, that this was not acceptable. She turned around and responded very angrily, with profane shouts and ridicule. People who were around us heard her clearly. There were business people, families, restaurant workers. Nobody said anything. She, along with her male companion, continued with obscenities.

I work with children with severe behavior disorders and I was not expecting that kind of response. At this point I went into my teacher mode and tried to de-escalate the situation. After realizing her tirade toward me was being met with calm answers from me, she directed her attack at my nephew. Not a single customer, not the server, not the restaurant manager, no one said anything.

It is alarming to be in a situation like this and realize you’re standing alone. When the situation escalated far beyond what I imagined, I realized I had no support from those around me.

If I could have had just one person say something like, “Stop that,” or if the server had said they were going to call the police or if the manager had told her that that kind of behavior was unacceptable in this place, I would not have felt alone. But everyone remained silent, even looking at me as if to say, “Look what you’ve started.”

I don’t recommend that someone angrily challenge anyone because that is not going to change the situation. I suggest taking a quiet stand. But a stand must be taken.

We’ve become too accepting of intolerable behavior.

I do see that gang activity and gang behavior are results of social injustices. But that said, the public must take a stance on what we decide is intolerable.

It’s only going to get worse. We’re going to start expecting the police to be involved. Expecting the police to solve our societal problems is unrealistic. The police cannot be everywhere, but we--the community--are. If I had had a cell phone in this instance, I would not have called the police. I was hoping the people around me would have taken a stand. We need to start dealing with these things ourselves.

The young children she was with learned a lesson that day. They learned that they can behave in any way they choose and suffer no repercussions.

We must realize that many people have created their own sense of community through being disenfranchised. We have to continue working to reach them.

Simply speaking up is a start. We don’t always have a chance to voice our opinions but these are situations in which we can. After this situation, my family suggested I should have some kind of protection in case it happens again. I won’t have who I am changed by the behavior of other people. I wouldn’t go around with a handgun or any sort of a weapon to protect myself. That’s not who I am, and that is not something I choose to do.

We can only expect flourishing malevolence to be the result of our silence.