‘The Kids Nobody Else Wants’ Find a Loving Home Here

EL CAJON, Calif. â€”  The Hauers have a family creed: No child should die unwanted, unloved or institutionalized.

In the two decades since Chuck and Penny Hauer embraced that philosophy, they have adopted 35 disabled children.

“We take the kids that nobody else wants,” said Chuck Hauer, 62. “We want them.”

Their family now includes 18 adopted children, ages 10 to 33. They are black, white, Asian and Hispanic. They live with cerebral palsy, Down syndrome and brain damage. Many had mothers who were drug abusers. Some were physically abused.

The Hauers’ sacrifice to rear these children was recognized last fall when they received one of 10 America’s Awards, honoring unsung heroes. The awards were created in 1990 by the late Rev. Norman Vincent Peale.

Their weekend trip to Washington, D.C., for an awards ceremony included gourmet meals, chauffeured limousines and a tour of the White House. It was one of the few times during the Hauers’ 39 years of marriage that they’ve had time away from their children.

“They deserved the break and the award,” said Colleen, 34, oldest of the couple’s five biological children. “They’ve dedicated their whole lives to this.”

The Biggest Help: A Permanent Home

The Hauers started in 1978 with Charity April, an abused toddler with cerebral palsy. They took her in as a foster child but quickly wanted to adopt her.

“We knew she wasn’t the only kid out there like her,” Penny Hauer said. “Chuck and I decided the best way to help them was to provide them a permanent home.”

The family grew steadily, and they continue to adopt. Each child gets a new name that starts with “C”--a family tradition--and their former name becomes their middle name.

“They get a fresh start with us,” Chuck Hauer said.

People ask the couple if they have too many children. Penny Hauer said her reply is always: “Too many for what? Too many to hug and kiss? I don’t think so.”

But what about too many to house, to bathe and to feed?

“You make room. You go and get another bed. You put down another plate at the table,” said Penny Hauer, as her family enjoyed Friday pizza night crowded around three wooden tables placed end to end in their oversized kitchen.

She said big families are actually easier to manage than small ones. One or two children can consume all the time and energy of their parents. With several children, they entertain and help each other, she said.

“What one can’t do, another can,” Penny Hauer said. “Together, they form a whole person.”

For example, Charity April, now 26, folds clothes and helps change diapers for nine incontinent siblings. Cristy, 22, who suffered meningitis as a child and can’t talk, helps cook meals. Cheston, 16, who has mild cerebral palsy and is blind in one eye, takes out the trash.

The couple has twice moved the brood. They left her home state of Ohio for his home state of Montana in 1989. But the small town’s school system couldn’t accommodate the influx of disabled children, and the community did not accept the white couple’s children of different races, Penny Hauer said.

In 1997 they moved to an eight-bedroom, three-bath home in eastern San Diego County, where the reception (and the weather, Penny Hauer jokes) has proven warm. A neighbor makes baked goods for the children. A volunteer group built the family a deck, where some of the five children in wheelchairs sit in the afternoon and listen to a portable radio. They’ve also found supportive friends at their church, where Chuck Hauer teaches Sunday school.

Most of the children go to public school, Penny Hauer said. Cheston has adapted so well that he looks like a typical Californian--sunglasses, a shaved head and jeans with a hip-hugging waistline.

“One of them has to go. It’s the hair or the jeans, but not both. I’m serious,” Penny Hauer told Cheston, who simply flashed her a smile.

Children’s Deaths Take Emotional Toll

There are reminders, though, of the daily challenges.

Calli Ann, 12, has Down syndrome and underwent two open heart surgeries. The Hauers adopted her at 6 months when she was given up by her 14-year-old mother.

There are others: Clayton, 21, wears thick eyeglasses and maneuvers crutches with hands gnarled by cerebral palsy; Cato, 13, is fed through a stomach tube and often has seizures; and Courtney, 13, has Down syndrome and can’t speak.

There’s a misconception among some people that taking care of these children is an easy way to make money, Penny Hauer said.

For 12 of their children, the couple get $7,800 monthly in Supplemental Security Income, which is administered by the Social Security Administration. Medicaid covers health needs.

Their food bill is $2,500 a month. Daily, the family consumes three loaves of bread, two gallons of milk and many pounds of fruit. The Hauers’ mortgage is $2,200, and their water bill is $300.

“And that’s just the basics,” Penny Hauer said.

There is an emotional price too. Eleven of their children have died.

Cara Lynn, who died two years ago, had been aborted as a 5-month-old fetus but lived until she was 11. She could only move her arm and say a few words. She had shunts in her head to drain fluid. When faced with the decision of having the right side of her brain removed or allowing her to die, the family decided to bring her home.

Although she showed promise during the next three months--using a walker and saying “Daddy’s girl”--her decline was inevitable. Penny Hauer said everyone helped her go peacefully. They rocked her and sang to her. They combed her hair and put her in a pretty dress. They told her about how beautiful heaven was and how she would be a healthy, happy girl there.

The couple spend most of their time with the children. Chuck Hauer recently retired. He gets a small pension from General Tire & Rubber in Akron, Ohio, where he worked as a quality-control inspector until the plant closed in 1982. He worked various jobs until he qualified for Social Security recently.

Penny Hauer is a volunteer field representative for the Ohio-based Adopt America Network, matching other disabled children with families.

They say they don’t worry about aging and what will happen to their children when they are gone. Their biological children have agreed to fill the gap, and the house will be left to all of them.

“When we are gone, they will have each other,” Penny Hauer said. “Collectively, they’ll make it work.”