LAUGH LINES

Bowl-a-Rama: “The Super Bowl halftime show starred a Phil Collins number. It included hundreds of dancers in hooded white robes. Finding them in Georgia was no problem, but getting them interested in choreography almost got two guys killed.� (Argus Hamilton)

Bowl-a-Rama II: “How cold was it in Atlanta? It was so cold that Ted Turner’s hands were in Time Warner’s pockets.� (Kenny Noble Cortes)

The Pause That Refreshes: “Coca-Cola announced it was going to lay off 6,000 workers worldwide. They say this is the biggest coke layoff since George W. Bush went into rehab.� (Jay Leno)

Cosmo Girls: “Cosmopolitan magazine founder Helen Gurley Brown . . . said she is refusing to criticize Monica Lewinsky, because she said there are 100,000 young women in this country right now who would have done the exact same thing. President Clinton said, ‘I need names. I need numbers.’ � (Leno)

Hair Today: “A Yale University study has found that bad-hair days can affect people’s behavior by lowering their self-esteem. In fact, today Sam Donaldson was placed on suicide watch.� (Leno)

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