COLLEGE BASKETBALL TOP 25

No. Team (Record) Comment

1. Michigan State (9-0) Only in college hoops can you score 46 points . . . and win!

2. Duke (10-0) Battle for coveted No. 2 spot up for grabs in tonight’s Pete Newell Challenge.

3. Stanford (8-0) Unlike the BCS, No. 3 in these rankings doesn’t mean squat.

4. Wake Forest (9-0) This team as deep as Alex Rodriguez’s pockets.

5. Virginia (7-0) Hey, Pete Gillen really does look like David Letterman.

6. Illinois (8-2) ESPN Classic declines to buys rights to 27-foul game against Arizona.

7. Florida (7-1) Playing too many schools with hyphens and ampersands.

8. Arizona (6-3) Playing like a top-seeded team . . . in the NIT, before Wednesday.

9. Tennessee (9-1) Froze like deer in the bright Jimmy V Classic headlights.

10. Connecticut (8-1) Whoopie and hot dang; Ajou Deng decides to stay!

11. Kansas (9-1) Roy Williams’ team gives Tulsa Coach Peterson’s team a Buzz cut.

12. Seton Hall (6-2) Looked like not-ready-for-prime-time players against Michigan State.

13. USC (7-0) Pac-10 warns Bibby not to criticize flight attendants on flight to Hawaii.

14. Syracuse (9-0) Shhhhhsh, quiet please, it’s finals week!

15. Wisconsin (7-1) New Coach Brad Soderberg is Dick Bennett with less hair.

16. North Carolina (6-2) Doherty-vs.-Lavin coaching matchup billed as “30-something.”

17. Alabama (8-0) No quit in this team, except for Jeremy Hays, who did quit.

18. Maryland (6-3) Holiday buffet includes Norfolk State, Chicago State and Maryland Eastern Shore.

19. Mississippi (9-0) Picked to finish sixth in the SEC West?

20. Notre Dame (6-2) Troy Murphy’s head fake better than his fake ID.

21. Oklahoma (8-1) You will not find three better guards west of Buckingham Palace.

22. Cincinnati (6-2) This week’s equation: Loss to X(avier) equals win over UNLV.

23. Iowa (9-0) Luke Recker scores 23 vs. Missouri; Bob Knight doesn’t call to congratulate.

24. Arkansas (7-2) Fellas ask football team to bring back Elvis trinkets from Las Vegas Bowl.

25. Georgetown (9-0) Wonder if Iverson will write new rap song to celebrate Hoyas cracking AP poll.