Woman, Orphaned Girl Face Painful Separation

Six weeks ago, Chris and John Wendoloski hoped to adopt Vika Vladimirova, a 5-year-old orphan from Kazakhstan.

The Thousand Oaks couple had taken her into their home as part of Kidsave International’s Summer Miracles program, which brings orphans from Russia, Eastern Europe and the former Soviet republics in Central Asia to the United States to stay with American families for the summer, with hopes that they would be adopted.

After three weeks, the Wendoloskis said they felt they couldn’t meet Vika’s needs, because she demanded one-on-one attention and they already were raising a demanding 2-year-old daughter.

For Diane Kane, the fact that the Wendoloskis chose not to adopt Vika was a blessing.

The Brentwood resident had decided about two years ago that she wasn’t going to wait to find a husband before finding a child. But she had been caught up in frustrating delays trying to adopt an infant from Russia when someone told her to look into Kidsave.

“Once you’ve made up your mind that you want a child in your life, you investigate other sources,” said Kane, a first-generation American from a Russian family.

Organizers of the nonprofit group--which say they have succeeded in finding homes for 200 children ages 5 to 13 nationwide this summer--put Kane in touch with the Wendoloskis, who helped in Vika’s transition.

Now Kane, an investment banker, is facing the moment the Wendoloskis had dreaded when they first considered adopting Vika. Russian law requires the orphans to return to their home country and be adopted there, a process that can take two to three months, said Randi Thompson, co-founder of the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit group.

It doesn’t make sense to Kane, but she knows that in order to give Vika a permanent home, she has to send her away.

On Saturday, she will put Vika, with whom she has spent every waking moment the last three weeks, on a plane destined for an orphanage in Kazakhstan.

As long as everything goes according to plan--and Kane has no reason to believe that it won’t--Vika will be back in her arms by the end of the year.

“The positive about her leaving is it’s the first step to me bringing her back,” Kane said. “There’s no doubt it’s going to be difficult and extremely emotional. But on the other side, I found my daughter.”

This year, Kidsave’s summer adoption program included 250 orphans. Thompson said 46 of the children still need to be placed with families, but the organization will do whatever it takes to ensure that they are--including flying the children back to the United States a second time.

“If we’re going to bring a child over, we’re committed to finding that child a home,” Thompson said.

It isn’t always easy. As a child who was abandoned at birth and raised in an orphanage, Vika has some emotional issues. Not only does she crave constant attention, she gets upset when separated from a caregiver and has trouble controlling her emotions.

But after several difficult days, Kane’s and Vika’s relationship came to a turning point--a moment when Kane knew she could handle the rigors of raising Vika as her own daughter.

They were at dinner with friends when Vika picked up a butter knife and refused to put it down. When the knife was taken from her, Vika launched into a temper tantrum that lasted nearly 30 minutes. She cried, screamed and kicked so much that she ended up making herself sick.

But through it all, Kane stood her ground, not giving in but cradling Vika and letting her get it all out. Two days later, the same group of people went out to breakfast. Vika again picked up a butter knife.

“I just looked at her, and she put it down,” Kane said. “Then she picked it up again and handed it to me, as if to say, ‘This got me in trouble last time and I’m not going to go there again.’

“Now it’s much better,” Kane added. “I can see the little girl in her instead of the baby. She’s so sweet and she has so much love to give.”

Emotional problems are not uncommon among children who have been institutionalized most of their lives and, in fact, can be interpreted as a good sign, said Thomas Trott, a Los Angeles child psychiatrist who specializes in issues surrounding adoption.

“The kids I worry about more are the ones who are so depressed they’ve kind of given up,” Trott said. “At least the kids who are struggling with these emotional issues are still trying to connect.”

Kane, along with Vika’s orphanage director and a language translator, told Vika on Wednesday that she would be going back to Kazakhstan but made it clear that Kane would come for her as soon as she could.

“She doesn’t like it, and she was crying to herself last night,” Kane said. “But I think she knows I’ll be there for her, and she knows she’s loved.”

The thought of taking Vika to the airport Saturday causes tears to well up in Kane’s eyes, but she said she is trying to stay focused on the positive and, once Vika is gone, she will be keeping herself busy to avoid getting too sad.

“I just feel like this is what’s right for me--this is what I want,” Kane said. “I feel like it was meant to be.”