LAUGH LINES

Disappearing Act: In “ ‘Hollow Man,’ about an invisible man . . . did you see that one scene where Kevin Bacon disappears layer by layer? About halfway through it--when he was just bones and muscles . . . didn’t he look like Joan Rivers after that last facelift?” (Jay Leno)

All in the Family: “There’s a report that Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid got back together briefly recently to take their son Jack to the movies. The problem is, they went to see ‘Kramer vs. Kramer.’ ” (Ira Lawson)

At the Movies: In “Autumn in New York,” “Richard Gere plays a guy in his 50s who has a love affair with Winona Ryder. A young woman having sex with an old guy. It sounds more like ‘Audition in L.A.’ ” (Leno)

Destination Change: “Loretta Sanchez agreed to move her fund-raiser. It was to be held at the Playboy mansion. Or, as it’s been called [the last few years]: the Western White House.” (Argus Hamilton)

Population Boom: “According to the United Nations, the world’s population will soon be 9 billion. People are being born faster now than Texas can execute them.” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.