LAUGH LINES

Comeback Kids?: “Movie star Bo Derek was one of the speakers before the GOP convention in Philadelphia. She really feels at home in the Republican Party. They’ve both been looking for their next big hit since [the ‘80s].” (Argus Hamilton)

Sold on Farewells: “If you are looking for tickets to Barbra Streisand’s farewell concert in Madison Square Garden, sorry--sold out. Some of the tickets were as high as $2,500 a seat. Tickets always sell out fast when you say it’s a farewell concert. If you say ‘farewell,’ it sells out. Although, it didn’t work that way for Diana Ross. In fairness, Diana didn’t know it was a farewell tour until she tried to sell some tickets.” (Jay Leno)

Lights Out: The recent heat waves in Southern California “are to blame for various power outages. . . . Power company officials are asking customers to avoid using electric appliances. To help, the LAPD has started shredding crucial evidence by hand.” (Mark Wheeler)

A Lighter Touch: “The word is that Laura Bush, the wife of Gov. George Bush, has stopped wearing dark gray suits and now can be seen wearing brighter colors for TV appearances. Too bad she can’t be seen with a brighter husband.” (Leno)

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Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, 202 W. 1st St., Los Angeles, 90012.