Man, the Vanishing Species

Turning invisible used to be such a hassle. For starters, you had to be involved in a freak industrial accident or get injected with strange chemicals that carried unknown side effects. You then had to run around naked, exposing yourself to the elements--and to potential embarrassment if the invisibility wore off. Sleep was nearly impossible because you could see through your own eyelids. And eating in public was a social faux pas because people could watch the food digesting in your stomach.

Fortunately, modern science has overcome many of these obstacles, and invisibility is once again in vogue in movies, books and TV. Transparent humans are now prominently featured in J.K. Rowling’s blockbuster “Harry Potter” novels, the SciFi Channel’s quirky “Invisible Man” series and in the film “Hollow Man,” opening today. Other invisible characters are in the works.

But the see-through renaissance raises some troubling issues. For example: If an invisible person and a normal person have a baby, would it be translucent?

Also, the technologies to achieve invisibility have become too varied (serums, invisibility cloaks, magic rings, surgically implanted glands, vanishing creams, cosmic rays and more).

An industry standard is clearly needed.

A Times investigation has determined the pros and cons of several leading methods:

* Invisibility cloak. Popularized by Harry Potter, this lightweight garment renders anything underneath it invisible. Pros: Can be removed when the need for stealth ends. Cons: Must be dry-cleaned, invariably gets lost.

* Antennas. Introduced by Ray Walston in “My Favorite Martian.” Pros: Ease of operation. Antennas go up, person turns invisible. Cons: Doesn’t work unless you’re from Mars.

* Cosmic rays. Pioneered by superhero Susan Richards, the Invisible Woman in the Fantastic Four. Pros: User also has power to make other objects invisible and to walk on air by placing “invisible energy” beneath her feet. No mental side effects. Marvel Comics’ Web site reports that Richards is able to “balance her role as an adventurer with that of a working mother, as she has a young son and is responsible for the day-to-day running of the Fantastic Four’s charitable foundation.” Cons: Interstellar travel required for contact with rays; effects may vary.

* Magic ring. As seen (or, rather, unseen) in “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy. Pros: Portable, one size fits all. Cons: Possible enslavement to the Dark Lord.

* Light refraction. Adopted by alien in “Predator” to bend light around himself. Pros: Eliminates need for dopey retractable antennas used by Ray Walston and other extraterrestrials. Cons: Invisibility not total; produces shimmery effect.

* Chemical bleaching. Invented by H.G. Wells’ invisible man for use in conjunction with gasoline-powered “ethereal vibration” device. Pros: Achieves total transparency. Cons: Food visible in stomach while digesting; must be naked to remain unseen; invisibility is permanent; may cause insanity.

* Industrial accident. Perfected by Chevy Chase in “Memoirs of an Invisible Man.” Pros: Possible romance with Daryl Hannah; clothes also invisible. Cons: Movies starring Chevy Chase usually bomb at box office.

Another big drawback to traditional invisibility methods is that, technically speaking, an invisible person would be blind. In order for humans to see, light must be absorbed by the retina, which is impossible if the retina is transparent. It’s also impossible if the invisibility is achieved by bending light around the person, as no light would reach the eye.

“That’s one of those questions I knew someone would ask,” says Matt Greenberg, creator of cable’s “Invisible Man,” which debuted in June.

So how did he handle it? With a substance called Quicksilver, a fictitious chemical that bends light around objects. In the show, scientists create a gland that secretes Quicksilver and can be implanted into humans to make them vanish. But it allows certain wavelengths of light to pass through, which enables the invisible person to see things in a different spectrum, akin to, say, looking through infrared goggles.

Quicksilver also eliminates several other common invisibility problems. Because it seeps through the skin, it can be absorbed by clothing and render the fabric transparent. “If you’re naked, you get too cold,” Greenberg explains.

In addition, the substance can be secreted over objects to make them invisible too, thus eliminating floating guns, phones, etc. And unsightly digesting food is a thing of the past. It’s a tremendous breakthrough.

The SciFi Channel is so pleased with the result that it issued a spoof catalog of invisible products, including an invisible pen (“You’ve heard of invisible ink; here’s a new twist--visible ink in an invisible pen”), an invisible toupee and an Invisible Man action figure sold with such accessories as an invisible backpack, invisible grappling hook and invisible all-terrain boots.

Alas, Quicksilver possesses one glaring flaw: It induces insanity unless the user receives periodic injections of an antidote.

Madness is a seemingly intractable problem for invisible people. As Paul Verhoeven, director of “Hollow Man,” explains in a Web site interview promoting his film: “Thousands of years ago, Plato wrote of invisibility. . . . He said an invisible person would become intoxicated with the power and abuse it simply because he could get away with it. He would steal and he would enter houses and rape and kill at will.”

Although Plato gets no screenwriting credit, that’s exactly what happens to Kevin Bacon’s character in “Hollow Man” after he takes an invisibility serum.

Clearly, the need for safe, reliable invisibility technology has never been greater. Hollywood must join forces with the scientific community to develop an invisibility pill that can be prescribed in adjustable doses (from one to six hours, or a time-release capsule for longer periods). Or they could devise an invisibility “patch,” similar to the nicotine patch, for spies, undercover cops and others who need to be unseen for lengthy stretches of time.

Another much-needed invention is something that would enable newspapers to conceal flimsy story endings with type that turns completely invisi

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Roy Rivenburg’s e-mail address is [email protected].