CHRIS DUFRESNE’S TOP 25

1. Florida State (2-0) One of these dadgum days, the defense will show up.

2. Florida (2-0) Gust from under Spurrier’s visor blows hurricane out of Gainesville.

3. Penn State (3-0) Paterno thinks he might have once coached a “Hurricane” Floyd.

4. Tennessee (1-0) Fulmer’s idea of trash talk is mumbling to himself while taking out garbage.

5. Nebraska (2-0) School nominated for six daytime Emmys for soap opera performances this week.

6. Michigan (2-0) Directions to Syracuse: Hang a left at Binghamton; if you hit Oswego, you’ve gone too far.

7. Miami (2-0) Paterno willing to pay “top dollar” for tickets to “The Jackie Gleason Show.”

8. Texas A&M; (1-0) Added three decks to Kyle Field to accommodate Tulsa fan overflow.

9. The Ohio State (1-1) When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that’s Bellisari.

10. Wisconsin (2-0) Ron Dayne’s thighs will be on exhibit, noon to 3 p.m. today.

11. Georgia Tech (1-1) Heisman update: Hamilton vs. Florida State might have locked up the Suzuki vote.

12. Virginia Tech (2-0) Injury to QB Michael Vick being treated with vapor rub of same name.

13. Georgia (2-0) Week off allows the new Uga time to learn the playbook.

14. Purdue (2-0) New school name options include Drewdue, PurDrew and Breesdue.

15. Arizona (2-1) Staff cancels practices after watching tape of Stanford at Texas.

16. Arizona State (1-0) QB Kealy might play a week after surgery? What, was that a drive-through hospital?

17. USC (1-0) New Trojan sprint team laments loss of track on Coliseum floor.

18. North Carolina State (3-0) Boys, don’t count on Chris Weinke throwing six picks this year.

19. UCLA (1-1) McNown also pleads not guilty to Miami and Wisconsin losses.

20. Marshall (2-0) Moss sneaks away to help Herd avenge last year’s loss to Bowling Green.

21. Colorado State (2-0) Rankman too busy doing overdubs for Boise State-Hawaii pregame show to catch Thursday night’s game.

22. Kansas State (1-0) Texas El Paso backs out of Saturday’s game, sends a pinata instead.

23. Alabama (2-0) “Hey, No. 24, you’re hog meat on Sept. 25.”

24. Arkansas (1-0) “Keep talking, 23, we’re going to tan your ‘Tide hide.”

25. Notre Dame (1-2) Irish petition NCAA to shorten all games to 58 minutes.