Playground Tragedy’s Other Victim : Community Turns Out to Help Children’s Families, Preschool

Within hours, the outpouring began: balloons, casseroles, crumpled $5 bills and plans for a fund-raising carwash. Children crayoned condolence cards and teachers festooned intensive-care hospital rooms with decorations.

After the apparently willful car crash that killed two young children and hurt five other people at a Costa Mesa day-care center Monday, Orange County residents rallied around to help not only the families of the victims but the school itself.

Well-wishers soon built a moat of posters, candles and flowers around the Southcoast Early Childhood Learning Center. From a prison cell in San Luis Obispo, rap mogul Marion “Suge” Knight contributed $10,000 to buy toys and supplies for the stricken school.

Firefighters have offered to barricade the school with a brick wall around the playground, to replace the mangled chain-link fence that once enclosed Tonka dump trucks and a little plastic castle.

Other schools nearby have volunteered to take in Southcoast students temporarily. And many parents vowed to support the center when it reopens, perhaps this week.

“It’s a wonderful place,” said Randi Rubenstein of Newport Beach, whose daughter Jasmine Saltzman was slightly hurt in the crash. “I know that they’re heartbroken. It’s a horrible tragedy for them.”

Teachers say people call daily to donate bikes, mats, art supplies and play structures for the school.

“Strangers call sending their blessings, saying that the staff is wonderful,” said Southcoast teacher Vera Acevedo. “A lot of people have called to say they’ll be bringing their children again. It’s touching.”

Focus on Families of Two Slain Children

Friends, families and strangers have particularly focused on the mourning parents of the two children killed--Sierra Beth Soto, 4, and Brandon Wiener, 3--to help in any way possible.

Jill Moss kept vigil by the side of dance instructor Cindy Soto, who lost her only daughter in the crash.

“Every person here, we’re all moms,” Moss said through tears. “We’re all dying inside for her. So someone is with her 24 hours a day--there in the moments when she’s weak and thinks there’s no reason to go on.”

More than 100 people have donated to memorial funds for the dead and injured children, contributing $6,500 toward funerals and hospital bills.

The church across the street from the day-care center hosted an overflow crowd for a memorial service, even though the slain children weren’t congregation members. Neighbors of Brandon Wiener--who was known for dragging a worn, brown teddy bear, his “baby,” with him everywhere--will spend today scrubbing down cars to raise money for the Wiener family.

Everyone, it seems, is pitching in.

“I think people, as a part of our makeup, need to feel like they’re making a difference,” said Wayne Fortin, founder of the Trauma Intervention Program, which assists victims of little-publicized fires and large-scale crises. “We’re sick of all this mayhem, the world going wrong, and we want to do our little part, to feel like we’re in control, to feel like we’re doing something.”

The little gestures mean a lot, the victims say.

Wounded teacher Danielle Diaz-Knecht chokes up when she talks about how her colleagues, shellshocked themselves, came to visit her in the hospital. When she returned home, her body sore and battered, fellow teachers called with encouragement.

Cindy Soto, a dancer who has taught hundreds of adults and children, including Sierra, has found herself sitting with a stream of willowy ballet and tap students. They stroke her long, blond hair and tell her she must come back to the studio. They need her.

Friends have helped ferry Soto around, gathering clean clothing and Sierra’s fuzzy blanket from home, a photo album and the pet bunny rabbit. Others have scrambled eggs and sausage. Over the racket of tap shoes clacking against hardwood floors, volunteers have answered the ever-insistent phone at Soto’s Dance Center in Newport Beach.

Therapists have rung to volunteer their services free. The self-appointed “balloon mom” arranged a helium bouquet for Sierra’s funeral.

Strength Drawn From the Support

Although riven by grief, the Sotos and Pam and Aaron Wiener say the reaction from others has fortified them.

“A community coming together, and the outpouring of support and love for Sierra . . . has lifted us and given us strength,” Cindy Soto said Thursday. “I am amazed at the love that surrounds Sierra and myself and am eternally grateful for all the love and support from the community.”

Yvette Monteiro, an Irvine counselor, donated her time to help console students at the dance studio who had just begun to watch Sierra grow.

“People feel a sense of loss for the parents and for themselves,” she said. “The reality is, this could have happened to any one of our children. The community feels a sense of obligation to help.”

A few miles away, residents of the Wieners’ Costa Mesa neighborhood offered homemade chicken casseroles, volunteered to walk the family’s dog and fetched groceries from the store.

The Wieners have preferred to keep to themselves in their stucco duplex, but they’ve had a steady stream of visits from family and friends.

Their neighbors organized the carwash to help them financially. For next-door neighbor Laura Whitney, the carwash is a way to reach out to the Wieners and band together in support.

“They need our help right now,” she said.

The tragedy has held up a mirror to many of the mourners: What if it had happened to them?

“My heart’s broken,” said neighbor Deanna Gonzales. “It makes you realize how quickly that the things you love could be taken away.”

The mother of a 5-year-old girl, Gonzales had Brandon and some other kids from the neighborhood over for a porch party last month. She can’t believe that the young boy with the bright eyes and huge smile is gone.

Other Victims Remembered Too

“It’s amazing how the community comes together,” said Gonzales. “Even if you only know your neighbors by their first names, it doesn’t matter. You still feel close to them.”

Across the street, Kendra Sanchez talked about the shock to the street’s residents. She planned to drop off flowers, even though she’s only seen the Wieners while driving by or fleetingly from her front window.

“This is a young, low-income neighborhood,” she said. “We look out for each other.”

Experts warn that the roller coaster of emotions for grieving parents requires flexibility. Sometimes they may want to retreat and hide. Other times, they may not want to be left alone.

“You just let them talk,” said Rob Udell, a volunteer with the Trauma Intervention Program, who spent the week helping grieving teachers and parents air their anger and anguish. “You’re just there to listen.”

While most of the community outpouring has centered on the Soto and Wiener families, the other victims are not forgotten.

A separate account has been opened to help the families of Nicholas McHardy, 2, and Victoria Sherman, 3, pay for the children’s stays in the hospital intensive care unit.

Byron Wineke, a neighbor who helped Nicholas minutes after the crash, on Wednesday went to the hospital to visit the boy, his small face swollen with blue bruises.

Amid the monitoring devices that crowd the room sits a white, stuffed polar bear, larger than Nicholas himself--a gift from paramedics. Victoria has a matching bear. Both have windows festooned with crayon drawings from students at nearby schools, decorations from their day-care teachers and balloons.

Wineke believes the tragedy has brought Orange County residents closer together.

“My question is: Will this go away in two weeks or will it last the rest of our lives?” he asked. “I hope we pull together and make our little town as good a place to live in in the future as it was in the past. I hope we stick together.”

To benefit Brandon Wiener’s family, neighbors are hosting a carwash from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. today at the Huntington Beach Union 76, 21471 Brookhurst St., at Hamilton Avenue.

Contributions may be made to a memorial fund for Brandon Wiener and Sierra Soto at any Home Savings of America branch, account number 162-013295-9. The donations will be divided between the families unless either child’s name is specified.

Contributions for the injured children may also be made at Home Savings branches, account number 162-0132827.