The Agony of Choosing the Recipients of Dreams

It’s late at night and I’m tired. As I shuffle through the scholarship applications on the table, I realize the task of reading and evaluating 23 essays could take hours. What if I can’t give each one the attention it deserves? Will a worthy girl be denied a chance to make good?

The scholarships are awarded each year by Comision Femenil San Fernando Valley, a Latina nonprofit organization, to outstanding Latina students in San Fernando Valley schools. The applications are highly competitive, and a committee of four reads each. Requirements include an essay, letters of recommendation and transcripts. Each year we on the committee agonize at having to decide who among the highly intelligent young women will fulfill dreams of attending university.

Most of the applicants attend magnet schools, take advanced placement classes and have aced algebra. Calculus, even! A few are cheerleaders and in homecoming court. One young woman--headed for MIT--is a single mother; she wants to succeed for herself and her child. Although most admire their long-suffering mamacitas, none wish to emulate them. Rather, the lives they envision are as professionals. Few hail from educated parents. Most are first in the family to graduate from high school and to aspire to college. Some came to this country as children and had to learn English. Some essays are a cry for help; help to leave behind the cycle of poverty that is the lot of many immigrants. Others are gut-wrenching accounts of absentee fathers, mothers who work two jobs and brothers who hang out with gangs. Of living hand to mouth.

Daughters of mechanics, cooks, bus drivers and janitors, the women hope to attend Cornell, Stanford, UC Berkeley, and become doctors, educators, lawyers and scientists. For the few who have already won awards, our scholarships are a bonus. But for those from families who fled war-torn countries, work for low wages and live in substandard housing, they loom miraculous.

One applicant stands out. Abandoned by both parents, her grandmother took her in. She’s held down a job while attending school. In her spare time, she tutors her siblings. As I read her story I cannot help but ask: What fueled her ambition? How did a young woman reared by a near-illiterate grandmother surmount obstacles of race and class to rise to the top of her class? For her, this award will not only transform her, but also la familia, the family.

In the 1950s, at San Fernando High School, few (if any) Mexican Americans took college prep: Latin, Algebra. Scholarships were few and went to whites. I queried two former classmates about their ambitions. Claims Elvira, class valedictorian: “I was eligible for a scholarship, but had no plans for college. I might have been an attorney.” Adds Lydia: “I wanted to be a nurse, but after graduation we were expected to work; college was but a dream.”

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Done! Although all my favorites were not picked by the committee, those selected are deserving. Deserving of all this country has to offer young women who work hard at their studies, conquer the odds and hold on to a dream.

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Scholarship Winners

Comision Femenil San Fernando Valley has awarded scholarships to the following: First prize, $500: Mariela Sanchez, North Hollywood High School; Lourdes Torres, San Fernando High. Second prize, $300: Amelia Adriana Cervantes, San Fernando High; Inez Del Pino, North Hollywood High. Honorable Mention, $100: Maria Balvaneda, El Camino Real High; Jazmin Casas, North Hollywood High; Noramay Cadena, San Fernando High; Martha Lopez, Sylmar High; Jennie Martinez, Cleveland High.