4-Bedroom, With Nice View of Bathroom

Remodeling disputes in neighborhoods often involve some megalomaniacal resident trying to “mansionize”--or greatly enlarge--a house. Then there was the matter of the teensy home addition in Paramount.

That burg’s newsletter, City Talk, reports that a resident sought a permit for the construction of a room that would be just 4 feet by 4 feet.

And unattached to the house.

Asked for more details, the owner explained that her four-bedroom home had just one bathroom for six people and she couldn’t afford to add a second bathroom in the “traditional way.”

The outhouse request was, shall we say, trash-canned.

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NOT THAT SHE NEEDS THE HELP . . . : Chuck Braverman came upon a West L.A. psychic who seems well-equipped to reach the heavens (see photo).

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RESTAURANT LIT 101: “May I Take Your Order?” by Jim Heimann is a lavishly illustrated history of American menu designs from 1920 to 1960.

What caught my eye (aside from the prices) were the catchy slogans of some long-gone L.A. eateries, including:

* Pig Stand, “Eat a Pig Sandwich”

* Wilshire Bowl, “The Home of Properly Prepared Drinks”

* Lucca, “Where Dull Care Is Forgotten.”

* Zamboanga South Sea Cafe and Nite Club, “Home of the Tail-less Monkeys”

* Sugie’s Original Tropics, “The Informal Dining Room and Cocktail Lounge of the Motion Picture Industry.”

This irreverent joint offered several drinks named after stars and described in Raymond Chandler-ese. “Lana Turner’s Untamed,” for instance. “One drink,” the menu warned, “and you’re tighter than Lana Turner’s sweater.”

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BUT IS THE COFFEE CUP HALF-EMPTY OR HALF-FULL? Then there was the menu for the Mayflower Shop in L.A., which offered this thought:

As you ramble on through life, brother,

Whatever be your goal,

Keep your eye upon the doughnut,

And not upon the hole.

Inspirational advice. On the other hand, if I’d been able to keep my eye away from the doughnut, I’d weigh 25 pounds less now.

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STAR OF THE LOBSTER SHIFT: Fast-forwarding to 1998, Dr. Arthur Wisot found a Torrance restaurant that has a live crustacean so talented it can serve beer and wine (see accompanying). OK. But Wisot wonders if it can make a decent martini.

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THE LITTLE ESCALATOR THAT COULDN’T (CONT.): Here’s another update on the escalator that broke down four years ago in the L.A. City Mall.

You’ll recall that city officials studied the problem for several months then concluded that the motorized walkway couldn’t be fixed. The city said bids for a new one would be solicited.

Months passed.

Then Only in L.A. entered the picture. Your columnist asked the General Services Department in late January when the new one would be up and running. Ninety days, he responded.

And voila: The shiny new escalator recently made its debut. Talk about getting results. . . .

Oh, one other thing. The day that the General Services rep gave me the 90-day figure--that was in January 1997.

miscelLAny:

K. Ostrow of West L.A. saw a listing for a job that doesn’t seem to require a dynamic personality. The title: “Boring Machine Operator.”

Steve Harvey, writer of properly prepared column items, can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.