But Does It Say How Today’s Story Ends?

That noted barometer of public opinion--the 99 Cents Only chain--is up to more mischief. Laurel Hall of Whittier points out that the stores are offering the book “Partners in Power: The Clintons and Their America” (see ad). The blurb says: “Publisher originally tried to sell for $27.50.” No problem if you want more than one of the under-a-buck tomes. “No limit,” the chain says.

SOUNDS LIKE. . . . : Among the other readers who spotted the ad was Steve Lipinsky of Beverly Hills, who declared, “That’s L-I-P-I-N-S-K-Y, not to be confused with Lewinsky.”

THIS IS NOT A WASHINGTON, D.C., EVENT: Walter Stein of Thousand Oaks saw an item in a weekly newspaper about an opera party that contained this provocative announcement: “Sin-a-long ends the evening.”

WIN SOME, LOSE SOME: Swimsuit model Cindy Margolis, appearing on Howard Stern’s radio show on KLSX-FM (97.1), was subjected to an intelligence test of several current events questions by the Great One. He complimented her on her smarts, whereupon she said she had attended college. Where?

“Cal State Northridge,” she responded.

“Thirteenth grade,” he scoffed.

Oh well. The school received a more positive plug some months ago on TV’s “Murphy Brown.” It was an episode in which TV newswoman Brown is being kept waiting by the president, along with two men in African robes. Brown starts complaining, then says to the other two, “Ah, you don’t even understand what I’m saying.”

“Actually, we do--I went to Harvard,” says one of the men.

“Cal State Northridge,” says the other.

HEY, KEEP IT DOWN! Betty Stankovich of Pomona received a flier for a fashion convention that seems certain to have a noisy lounge (see accompanying). Stankovich suspects the flier was supposed to say “interpreters,” rather than “interrupters.”

THERE’S A CONSPIRACY IN THERE SOMEWHERE: Dan Clark found enough suspicious material for an Oliver Stone movie or at least an episode of “The X-Files”--merely by thumbing through the Donnelly Directory Yellow Pages for the Inland Empire area. “Like dictionaries,” Clark pointed out, “phone directories list in the upper corners of each page the range of items to be found on that particular page.”

Clark found such combinations as: “Chiropractic--Churches,” “Cremation--Dairy,” “Demolition--Dentist,” “Dishwashing--Dog,” “Greeting--Guns,” “Limousine--Lingerie,” “Rubbish--Safes” and “Tanning--Tax.”

If I could only figure out the code. . . .

EVERYONE’S A CRITIC: Listen up, all you screenwriters--you think writing for actors and directors is tough? How about for panhandlers? Paul Adams recalled when “I figured I could write some better messages for these guys. I drew several with a thick marker pen on some white cards and offered them to a panhandler on Vine Street I spoke with a couple of times.”

Sample message:

iM noT jusT a dedbeeT

living in tHe trasH

iM a lowlife enTerTainR

now, How about sum cash?

“His response,” said Adams, “was, ‘I don’t need none of that ----.’ ”

miscelLAny

After a Monrovia company fixed Emily Adelsohn’s furnace, it tried to interest her in a maintenance agreement. Adelsohn was asked to “sigh” and return a form. So far she has only complied with the first request.

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Steve Harvey can be reached by phone at (213) 237-7083, by fax at (213) 237-4712, by e-mail at [email protected] and by mail at Metro, L.A. Times, Times Mirror Square, L.A. 90053.