You Can’t Control Others’ Behavior--Only Your Own

I’ve spent much of my working life as a legal secretary and legal assistant. Not too long ago, a young attorney in the office I used to work in asked me to delay mailing a legal response to the attorney for the other side. He was new to the firm and wanted to impress his bosses, so he had decided to use a tactic that would limit the time, and perhaps the quality, of opposing counsel’s response.

Since all legal pleadings filed with the court must be served on opposing counsel with a proof of service under penalty of perjury signed by the person who served the pleading, certain deadlines must be met. Recognizing the illegality, not to mention the stupidity, of withholding opposing counsel’s service copy beyond the date my proof of service stated it was sent, I refused.

This attorney responded by calling the opposing counsel “sleazy and unethical� and asking me, “What’s your problem?� First of all, I answered, it was my signature under the penalty of perjury certification and since bankruptcy was involved, I could face federal penalties if I didn’t send the response on time. Second, while I could not control anyone else’s ethics, I surely could, and would, control my own.

I had only been with the firm for two months at that point, and that incident, plus a few others like it, had me walking out to look for another job a month later. Now I’m not claiming that I live on some high moral plane, but my parents raised me to believe that distinguishing right from wrong, moral from immoral, honor from dishonor and honest from dishonest all starts with me.

This sums up my philosophy, that the basis of an ethical society is each person taking responsibility for his or her own behavior.