Sizing Up the Gift List
Somewhere in the back of her closet lurks a garment that Heidi Neal Gaal has been avoiding since last December: a sweater from her mother-in-law.
“It’s too small. It’s a petite, and it comes up to my waist. And it has kittens on it. I hate cats!†said Gaal of Irvine.
“When I opened it I thought, ‘Oh great, what am I going to do with this?’ â€
She couldn’t return the sweater because her mother-in-law bought it from a store in the Midwest.
There it sits in sweater limbo.
Buying clothes for someone else is risky; there’s always a chance that the garment won’t fit or that the recipient will find it repulsive.
“We’ve all gotten things where we’ve wondered, ‘Where’d this come from?’ Clothes are very personal, and everyone has such different style,†Gaal said.
Besides trying to match taste, givers need be sensitive to recipients’ idiosyncrasies. Many people are allergic to certain fabrics; they might chafe at wearing wool. Others refuse to wear certain types of clothing for philosophical reasons. They avoid anything made from animal products such as leather or silk.
Still, such obstacles don’t stop hordes of holiday shoppers from buying clothes for their loved ones. This season, they’re sifting through store racks with visions of cashmere sweaters and jogging suits in their heads.
“Clothing is the most common gift--I find that perplexing because buying clothes for other people is really a minefield,†said Mary Wolfinbarger, a marketing professor at Cal State Long Beach who has researched the complexities of gift exchanges.
“Clothing represents our self-concept, and there’s nothing more uncomfortable than a clothing gift that doesn’t fit our image,†she said.
The problem, said Wolfinbarger, is that givers tend to buy clothes they like instead of things that the receivers would like. Before conducting her research on giving, Wolfinbarger used to buy her brother GQ-style clothing.
“I wanted to dress him up, and he just wanted something gray and casual,†she said.
She stopped trying to turn her brother into a GQ guy after interviewing people who loved giving gifts. She learned that effective gift-givers pay close attention to the receiver’s likes and dislikes--year-round. They make mental or written notes if a person loves red, hates wool or wears only silver jewelry.
“We share a lot of that information about ourselves, and part of the reason we’re so frustrated when we get something we don’t like is that we know they didn’t pay attention to us,†Wolfinbarger said.
To make sure the clothing you give doesn’t end up as a return or, worse, as a never-worn museum piece, research your recipient.
“It’s like being a detective,†said Jane Haxton, a personal shopper with Nordstrom in South Coast Plaza, Costa Mesa. “The most important thing is to be prepared before you go shopping.â€
Find out the recipients’ size instead of playing guess-their-weight.
You could ask what size they wear, but if you’re going for surprise, try gaining access to their closet and looking at the sizes of the garments they currently wear. (If you choose something you haven’t seen them wear in a while, said Haxton, they might have outgrown it.) If you can’t get into their closet, find out the person’s size from a friend or family member.
If you’re not sure of sizes, choose something that comes in small, medium, large or one-size-fits-most.
Next, figure out the recipient’s favorite colors.
“Sometimes they wear black, black and, just for variety, black,†Haxton said.
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Clothes should also match the recipient’s look and lifestyle.
“Do they like classic, tailored clothing or more fashion-forward styles?†Haxton said.
Givers should try to stick with the receiver’s usual mode of dress rather than pushing them into a different look. A conservative dresser, for instance, might like something a little bolder than usual but will probably recoil in horror at anything flamboyant.
“Sometimes it’s nice to stretch someone’s tastes, but you can’t jump someone from Polo to Versace,†said John Shaw, manager of Alex Sebastian in South Coast Plaza.
Sharon Courtway, who’s constantly in and out of stores as a real estate broker who specializes in shopping centers, buys clothes for everyone on her holiday list. A veteran shopper, Courtway usually gets good reviews for her choices.
“I try to pick things that are very simple in style, and I don’t go wild on colors,†said the Huntington Harbour resident. “I know that all my boys love black, and my mom’s two favorite colors are red and purple. I can’t go wrong with those.â€
This year she’ll buy a holiday sweater and pants for her mother-in-law, conservative dress shirts for her brothers-in-law and sweats or sweaters for assorted nieces and nephews.
When buying clothes for out-of-state relatives, she shops at large retail stores such as the Gap, Target, Sears and JCPenney.
“I know they’ll have one in their city so it’s easy for them to exchange something. I just cut off the price [on the tag] and leave on the bar code.â€
Gaal even considers season and climate when buying clothes, especially for children who might leap a full size by the time the weather warms up enough for them to wear a springtime outfit.
“You have to think of what size they’ll be when they wear it,†she said.
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You can skip a lot of the guesswork by shopping at the recipient’s favorite clothing store.
Many stores keep files on regular customers with sizes, colors and styles.
At Armoire, a woman’s clothing boutique in Fashion Island Newport Beach, some women pick out what they want before sending over their unsuspecting significant others.
“We suggest things and act absolutely psychic,†said Joyce Szilagyi, Armoire manager.
Others simply send their mate into the store with a wish list.
“That way he’s not lost. He has lots of options, and she’s still surprised,†Szilagyi said.
If shoppers are clueless, she’ll direct them toward safe choices such as scarves, handbags and accessories.
Shoppers can also enlist the help of a personal shopper, preferably one who works regularly with the recipient.
One customer who wanted to leave little to chance picked out an assortment of clothes she hoped her husband would buy her. When he arrived at Nordstrom, Haxton led him to a dressing room filled with clothes.
“She said it was the first time anything fit. And he was very proud because when people asked him, ‘Did Jane pick that out?’ he said, ‘No.’ He was bragging to his friends.â€
Haxton recommends buying clothes that the recipient might not treat himself or herself to, such as cashmere sweaters and leather jackets. Robes and even socks are good choices because they come in nonspecific sizes.
Before buying, know the store’s return policy. Stores aren’t required to take back merchandise unless it’s defective. Some retailers, such as Nordstrom, are more lenient than others about returns.
“You don’t want to buy a $400 sweater and not be able to return it,†Szilagyi said.
When in doubt, play it safe and buy gift certificates, suggests Stephanie Greene, marketing director for Westminster Mall.
“They fit everybody.â€
