Back-to-School Shopping Trip Calls for Sense and Sensibilities
Why would anyone buy a pricey, heavy sweater in August, knowing that it will be out of style before the first cold day of the year?
Or spend twice as much money on a pair of boots, just to have some useless yellow stitching on the leather?
These are back-to-school shopping mysteries that evade the average adult.
But ask any teen for answers and you are likely to be confronted with a barrage of Day-Glo magazines pushing the Must-Haves and Gotta-Buys of the season.
Kids may be the targets of the fashion trend-setters, but when shopping time comes, it is their budget-conscious parents who are the victims.
So what’s a loving parent to do?
“Parents need to be both sympathetic and sensible,†said Tom Prinz, a marriage, family and child counselor in Ventura.
That is, sympathetic to the pressures of growing up in a materialistic society and sensible about teaching kids to make choices as informed, cost-conscious consumers.
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Prinz said his own family’s back-to-school shopping became a way to instill a sense of financial responsibility in his teenagers.
“Part of the process of letting go of our kids was to give them a clothing allowance,†he said.
By giving them a predetermined amount of monthly cash, Prinz said his children were forced to make decisions such as whether to buy one $90 sweater or a heap of thrift store clothes.
“Turning it over to them really helped them make the choice,†he said.
Courtney Brown, who will be a junior at Moorpark High School, did not have to worry about debating money matters with her parents.
Last week, she did her school clothes shopping with her grandmother, Mary Louise Brown, of Camarillo.
Touting her granddaughter’s skills as a bargain shopper, Brown said she is happy to pick up the tab.
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But when Courtney goes home with her new purchases, one question will remain: whether her parents will approve of the selections.
“One time we came home with something [her mom] wasn’t too happy about,†Brown said. “But Courtney has her own good taste.â€
According to Kathie Lopez, assistant manager of Macy’s juniors department at The Oaks mall in Thousand Oaks, the main cause of in-store shopping friction between parents and kids is style.
“A lot of the styles right now are very revealing,†she said, pointing out some midriff-baring tops, tight pants and short shorts.
“A lot of moms and dads don’t like that.â€
Lopez said she has witnessed heated arguments over the issue of tact versus trend. But during back-to-school season, she said kids seem more willing to compromise, knowing that their payoff is a bulk purchase.
When kids shop alone, Lopez said, they usually buy only one or two items. But when they come in with their parents, sales average $150 to $300.
“Parents really don’t have a choice,†she said. “They don’t like to hear that, but [shopping for school clothes] is a necessity.â€
In determining a fair amount to spend on clothes, Prinz said the parents’ income, the child’s maturity level and where the student goes to school are factors that should come into play.
Katie Schmit, an 11th-grader at Villanova Preparatory School in Ojai, said her private school has a dress code, making shopping for school clothes more costly and difficult.
Inexpensive items like tank tops are out, she said. And finding dresses with whole sleeves instead of this season’s trendy spaghetti straps is not an easy task.
Still, Katie and her mom managed to meet the challenge. As her daughter handed her selections to the cashier, Helen Schmit graciously relinquished her credit card.
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Even when money is not an issue, Prinz said parents must be willing to set limits for their kids.
He stressed that while teens should be included in the budget negotiating process, they must understand that parents ultimately set the rules.
If they believe that their money is being spent irresponsibly, parents must be willing to retake control.
“One problem is that when parents say no, kids come back with ‘You don’t love me’ or ‘I hate you,’ †he said. “Parents need to be strong enough to not give in to those comments.â€
Sylvia Gray of Santa Paula said she remembers those fights.
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At 27, she is young enough to relate to a teenager’s perspective. That is why she likes to take her 16-year-old cousin Ricardo Palma shopping for school clothes.
“I’m the good cousin,†she said. “I buy him what he wants.â€
Even so, Ricardo’s mom accompanied them on the annual excursion to The Oaks mall.
It is her job to give the final nod of approval on all purchases.
Ricardo tried on a pair of jeans and walked them in his mother’s direction.
After a scrutinizing inspection, she gave him the words he waited for.
“Esta bien, mijo.â€
That’s just fine.
