Richard Riordan, Love Doctor:We couldn’t imagine L.A.’s...

Richard Riordan, Love Doctor:

We couldn’t imagine L.A.’s strait-laced mayor as a regular cast member on talk radio’s “Mornings With the Poorman and the Love Doctors.�

But Riordan, who was a guest on the KACD-FM (103.1) show, demonstrated he can be quick with advice.

One listener--Peter of Hollywood--called in to say: “My love problem is that I can’t seem to stay with one person. I meet a lot of people all the time and I’m dating somebody that’s really nice and . . .�

Riordan: “Male or female?�

Peter: “Male.�

It turned out that Peter meets a lot of people because he’s an exotic dancer.

Poorman: “You’re like a stripper.�

Peter: “Yeah.�

Riordan: “Well, I think he should go look at the old Gene Kelly movies.�

Peter: “Oh, the Gene . . . like ‘Singin’ in the Rain.’ �

Riordan: “Yeah.�

Peter never did say whether he’d consider becoming a Gene Kelly-type dancer--the kind who doesn’t doff any clothing, besides his top hat.

“DUH!� AWARD WINNER: When she bought a new Toyota, Diana Britt of Pasadena noticed that the brochure contained this tip for the car’s anti-lock braking system: “Don’t forget to steer. . . . Remember that you can steer while you are braking with four-wheel anti-lock brake systems.�

ODD MOGUL OUT: We hope that there’s no dissension at the DreamWorks SKG studio over the release of the list of people who’ve been privileged enough to have pajama parties with the Clintons at the White House. Steven Spielberg and David Geffen, two of the DreamWorks founders, have spent nights in the Lincoln Bedroom.

But not so their partner, Jeffrey Katzenberg. Katzenberg should be patient, though. There are still about 1,400 nights left to book at the White House in this administration.

NON-RESPONSIVE: The Democratic leader may have a preoccupation with bigwigs, but the Republicans couldn’t be accused of elitism in one mailing sent to the Lockwood family of Lake View Terrace (see accompanying).

“Credit the Republicans for reaching out to nobodies,� quipped Howard Lockwood. A “very strong� Republican, Lockwood wrote to Trent Lott, the Republican Senate majority leader, to ask for an explanation for the computer glitch. He received no reply.

“It’s symbolic of how political parties are treating their members these days,� Lockwood said.

GREENIES: An enduring urban myth, according to the book “Rumor,� is that green M & Ms “make you horny.� Now, the Mars Co. is trying to exploit the legend with a new set of TV commercials that star a sexy M & M--colored green.

Some years ago, a Santa Monica company called Cool Chocolate marketed some sexy candies as the Green Ones. Mars went to court and forced the company to change the name to the Greenies.

Cool Chocolate came up with this warning on the wrapper of the Greenies: “Not recommended for prisoners, priests or frat guys.� And don’t forget to steer!

miscelLAny:

Thursday’s column carried a photo of a sign that said, “Cal State Rent-a-Fence.� Imagining that it was a new university, we wondered what its mascot would be. Bill Shellorne of Thousand Oaks responded: “A fence-straddling politician.�