A real eye-opener:So what if a cup...

A real eye-opener:

So what if a cup of coffee costs just 9 cents at the downtown landmark Philippe? Bernard Barnett of San Pedro informs us that Jones Family Barbecue charges just 5 cents a cup. And it’s easy to get to. Barnett came upon it after taking Amtrak from L.A. to Dallas to visit his nephew--and then driving to a point “somewhere between Dallas and Dennison.�

WHO LOVES US, BABY? The Raiders and Rams have defected. Some residents of the San Fernando Valley want to secede. And now, Newsweek says in a glowing cover story on Seattle that that city “is haunted by the fear that stalks every city west of the Mississippi, of turning into another Los Angeles. . . .�

After all these slams, L.A. needs a Valentine.

So we were delighted when Paul Newman of Beverly Hills--the Only in L.A. contributor, not the actor--sent us a list of national clothing distributors that included the name LA Loving.

We phoned the Bloomington, Minn., firm.

“LA Loving,� the receptionist said. Just hearing the words nearly choked us up.

Alas, the “LA,� we were told, stands for Loving & Associates. We thought of asking why a company would call itself Loving & Associates Loving, but then figured what’s the point?

A salesperson did tell us that the company has some good customers in Los Angeles.

Well, that’s something: LA Loving likes L.A.

SPEAKING OF WHICH: That Newsweek line about every city’s fear “of turning into another Los Angeles� got us to thinking. If the Valley does secede, would it then have to worry about turning into Los Angeles again?

AT LEAST SHE DOESN’T DEMAND YOU TELL THE COURT YOUR AGE: Who cares about book contracts? Prosecutor Marcia Clark is featured on a birthday card put out by American Greetings of Cleveland (see photo). She is the first O.J. Simpson case figure to have this honor.

We’re not counting that 1995 Christmas card that was signed “Lance� and sent to members of the media. It contained the joking caption: “Objection overruled, Mr. Cochran. White Christmas does not have racist overtones.� The card, which carried a photo of a Judge Ito look-alike, was a hoax.

WHAT’S SHAKIN’? As for those billboards that warn “Get Ready to Rock June 7,� Linda Reid of West L.A. says she’s relieved that they were put up by Disney and not Caltech. Or followers of Nostradamus.

June 16, incidentally, will mark the second anniversary of a doomsday date tied to one of L.A.’s greatest urban folk tales.

That was the yarn that had completely sober L.A. drivers being pulled over for swerving, then explaining to the gendarmes that they had been unnerved by a backseat poltergeist warning of a massive quake on the way.

NOSTRADUMBUS: Prognosticators write The Times constantly. One of the most recent foresees several “newsworthy events� occurring over the next year, including “a change in the government of the U.S.� Wonder if that change could occur in November?

P.S.: The punch line to the Marcia Clark card is: “. . . kind of like her hairdos.� (Hey, don’t blame us--we didn’t write it.)

miscelLAny:

Guess we shouldn’t have cracked a joke last month when we learned that May 13-17 was Juror Appreciation Week. We’ve been selected for jury duty, beginning today, so you won’t be seeing much of our column for the next two weeks. Stay out of our court.