LOS ANGELES TIMES INTERVIEW : Terry McMillan : When a Movie Becomes a Cross-Cultural Women’s Event

Terry McMillan’s first clue that the movie version of her book, “Waiting to Exhale,” was going to be big was her fax machine. It was spewing out tons of news stories, columns, requests for print interviews and TV appearances--but especially reports of parties, lots of parties. Black women--girlfriends--across the country were holding “Exhale” parties, standing in long ticket lines, buying out theaters and discussing en masse the movie many had been waiting for since reading the best-selling 1992 novel. McMillan’s story of four middle-class African American friends was turning into a social phenomenon--and evolving into a cross-cultural event.

Black women made the film No. 1 at the box office when it opened Christmas weekend. It grossed $14.1 million, a figure that stunned Hollywood’s conventional wisdom, though one of the stars was platinum recording artist Whitney Houston. The Magic Johnson Theaters in the Baldwin Hills Crenshaw Mall showed the film on six sold-out screens and became the top theater earner in the nation. Meanwhile, the soundtrack has hit No. 1 and the movie has made $47 million as of Friday.

The crowds quickly crossed color lines. Theater audiences, originally 60% black, flipped to 60% non-black, even higher in some markets, according to 20th Century Fox. “Exhale” seemed to resonate with women of all races.

In Hollywood, women get little respect on the big screen. Girlfriend to the hero is about as good as it gets. Mother, daughter, hooker, sidekick--afterthought or accoutrement are the roles left for women. Black women fare even worse, which is why “Exhale” s success was touted twice on “Oprah” and just about on every other talk show, as well.

This new fame complicates life for the stylish, fortysomething McMillan, who lives with her 11-year-old son, Solomon, in a predominantly white suburb east of San Francisco. She was in Los Angeles late last week to read from her new book, “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” due out in spring, and also to help out a pal, Teresa Sanchez-Gordon, who is running for judge in East Los Angeles. It was another pal, Amy Tan, author of “The Joy Luck Club,” who introduced McMillan to Ron Bass, her co-writer on the screenplay.

McMillan insists her story is no Cinderella tale of Prince Charming and living happily ever after. The UC Berkeley-educated chronicler of lost loves and lusts, describes it far more realistically as a slice of life, “This was just one knot that they untied in their lives and now they can go on and hopefully be stronger and a little bit more emotionally equipped to untie the next knot in their lives. That’s the whole point, because that’s what our lives are like. There is never a neat little package at the end even when you ‘exhale.’ You’re going to have to take another breath and exhale again. That’s the whole point.”

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Question: Is this story more about race or gender?

Answer: It’s more about gender. A lot of people have misread this film. They think it’s about women trying to find Mr. Right. I see it as the opposite: What happens when all you look for is someone, and they always are Mr. Wrong because you don’t really discriminate. Or that becomes your preoccupation, relying on someone else for your happiness.

All of us want companionship and love. But, all this male-bashing stuff misses the point. It’s the women I’m more interested in, in terms of why we choose men we know won’t make good partners. That’s what my concern is. What it says about us. I would say it’s about gender and self-esteem, because men make bad choices as well.

Q: How universal is the war between the sexes?

A: I don’t like to think of it as a war. It’s really sad to have to use that term. What’s universal is the texture of our relationships. It’s evolving. Times are changing with the women’s movement. Men’s roles are being redefined and, in some ways, they’re confused. They don’t know, in some cases, what’s expected of them. . . . They have to learn all over again. Women do, too. . . . Everybody’s role has gotten complex. Everybody’s sort of redefining who they are, what they are, what they do and how they do it. . . .

Gayle Pollard Terry is an editorial writer for The Times.

Q: What’s the solution?

A: We just have to carry on. . . . A lot of people are paying attention to this film, for whatever reason. It struck a chord, emotionally, because women are basically saying, we just want to be treated a little better--with a little more tenderness and care. For me, it was almost like a wake-up call to say: “Gee whiz, we go out of our way for you guys. If you went out of your way for us, our relationships would be more powerful, more loving, laughing, stronger, compelling, enriching, enlightening, all of it.”

Q: So is this a Cinderella story: Some day my prince will come?

A: . . . . That’s not how I see this film, but that’s how every heterosexual woman I know, myself included--and even if you’re a lesbian and it could be your princess on a horse--everybody wants somebody in their life they know they can trust and love. Somebody’s got your back. You can be yourself. You can frolic and romp. This is your buddy. Somebody you really, really would love to spend as much time as you can with.

Q: What’s sex got to do with it?

A: I equate sex with intimacy, not just the act itself. For women, that’s what sex means. It may not mean the same thing to men, as is obvious in this movie.

Q: Does the movie shatter the sexual stereotype of black man as stud or superlover?

A: I don’t think so, because it was a myth all along. What I do with black men in this film, in particular, is sort of parody the lovemaking scenes. That’s why they’re funny. . . . Because in almost every film you see with male leads, the males, from Arnold on down, are always studs. They are always full of sexual vigor, and they’re just dynamic lovers. Not once have you ever seen a woman jump up from 007 and say, “That wasn’t all I thought it was going to be.” They’re always dynamic lovers. That is a bunch of bull.

Q: Hollywood loves a winner. Do you anticipate more girlfriend movies or more movies with black women stars?

A: There are going to be more films about the African American middle class now that Hollywood knows we are basically very proud to see ourselves portrayed in a more realistic light. All of us don’t live in the ‘hood. All of us don’t carry guns and gang-bang and live in the projects, barefoot and pregnant and uneducated. There are millions more of us out here who are in the middle-class range. We go to work and take care of our kids and pay our bills.

But part of what we do as writers and artists, we point out what we are not doing right . . . . Chekhov said: ‘Man will only become better once you make him see what he is like.’ And, I think that is true of women, too, of course. (As artists) Lets paint a picture here that’s not so pretty but have some fun doing it. Maybe people will think a little bit about their behavior--women and men, alike. And it worked.

Q: What were your experiences in Hollywood? Did you maintain control over your story?

A: The bottom line is, there are a lot of really good scenes on the floor. A lot of things that were in the book, that would have strengthened each character’s development, couldn’t make it to the film. . . . We had two hours. . . .

Basically, everybody at the studio was very supportive. They probably are more surprised by this film’s success than anybody. I was never really worried about whether or not people would like the film, but I didn’t know it was going to become such an event.

Q: You were surprised?

A: I knew there was an audience for the film. I didn’t know it was going to turn into what it has turned into, this phenomenon. . . .

Q: Have you sneaked into a theater to hear the reactions?

A: . . . The other day I went to see “Heat,” and “Waiting to Exhale” was playing at the next theater. . . . Out here where I live, which is in a predominantly white area. I was afraid to go in, because I said, “I know the white folks aren’t in here.” That theater was packed. There was a scene at the birthday party, and [the audience] was dying. They were just falling out.

Q: Is the film the black women’s equivalent of the Million Man March?

A: I don’t think so. The part that I really have a problem with is the whole notion of division. That really disturbs me. . . . Just like at a lot of these “Waiting to Exhale” parties, at which the women all get together. I can’t understand why they won’t take their boyfriends, or husbands, or brothers. . . . I understand the whole notion of sisterhood, and nobody feels stronger about it than I do, but it just seems that if they are going to have these parties to discuss whatever--because I still haven’t figured out what they talk about at these parties--then it would be good if they want to use [the party] as a forum. It would be a great place to bond with the guys.

Q: Did you support the march?

A: Not really. I like some of the ideas behind it. I liked what they thought it could accomplish, but I just think it wasn’t the same as Dr. Martin Luther King’s march. . . . I give credit to what they are trying to accomplish . . . but you don’t need to go to Washington to march on what it’s like to be a black man.

Q: How do you respond to critics who say you are beating up on black men for the enjoyment of white feminists, and washing dirty laundry in public?

A: Oh, that old, tired question. . . . I don’t understand why, whenever you criticize men, they call it bashing. I think they must be guilty of something if they automatically get on the defensive when they don’t see themselves portrayed in a positive light. . . . In psychobabble, it’s called being in denial.

All we’re doing is parodying some of their behavior. Intelligent people know you don’t write a book or film and say that this is how all people behave, that all black men are poor lovers, or that all black men love white women, all black women burn up their husbands’ stuff after they say they’re leaving them. It’s not true. Smart people should know this.

Q: When Amy Tan introduced you to Ron Bass, the screenwriter, did you have any qualms that because he was neither black nor a woman this would affect the authenticity of your story?

A: No, because I wrote it. That’s the thing people don’t understand. There are certain elements that are just human, such as fear, love, disappointment, angst, anxiety, tension, excitement, joy, tenderness. There’s no color on that. There just isn’t. Basically, what Ron understood about these women, first and foremost, was the fact that some of their problems stemmed from their own lack of self-worth. His big concern was, “Terry, I know you have a lot of laughter and a lot of comedy in here, but . . . I don’t want to see the beauty and power of what’s going on with your characters turn into another black sit-com on the screen. . . .”

I asked for a Ron Bass-type. Somebody who was really good at structuring a film, and somebody who didn’t have the emotional attachment to the story like I did, because it was my story. . . . He came up with an outline for the movie and it was never ever about him bringing his Jewishness to the story. It was his understanding and respect for what these women were going through. . . .

Q: Is the success of this film a strait-jacket?

A: I know how to get away. I don’t wear this. . . . Yesterday, I was in the Safeway. . . . I’m glad I’m not Whitney Houston. I wouldn’t want to be that famous. I don’t walk in the mall like, “Gee, whiz, everybody recognize me!” . . . .

The bottom line is, I take my work seriously. I enjoy it. I have a lot of fun. You always hope what you do will have a positive effect on other people’s lives. In this case, that seems to be the case. That’s what I feel good about. It’s not how much is this adding up to in my bank account. That’s not the most fulfilling part of it. It’s seeing people smiling and laughing and knowing that this makes us feel good. That’s why black people flocked to the screens. This was about pride. It was about showing another black person support. That’s what I tried to get Hollywood to understand initially. That $14.1 million was black money. It was also a show of respect for me, the book, us. That’s what that was about. And, they couldn’t have made a larger statement. You guys need to pay attention.