He couldn’t keep it under his hat:The...

He couldn’t keep it under his hat:

The city of Paramount’s newsletter reports that two L.A. County sheriff’s deputies “observed a male acting suspiciously. The deputies recognized him as a known gang member and, as they approached, he began running down the street, dragging one leg. The deputies eventually caught up with him, searched him and found an assault rifle hidden in his pants. The subject expressed extreme surprise at finding a gun in his slacks, but the deputies were not fooled and the suspect was duly arrested.”

LIST OF THE DAY: Some episodes of TV shows given “foe-paws” for broadcasting “anti-animal messages in 1995,” as described by Ark Trust Inc. of Sherman Oaks, an animal protection group:

* “Dave’s World”: “Dave’s family eats their pet rabbit.”

* “Married With Children”: “The death of Buck the family dog is trivialized.”

* “News Radio”: “The inhumane mass killing of rats takes place at the station.”

* “New York Undercover”: “Pit bulls are stereotypically portrayed as killing machines.”

* “Seinfeld”: “Elaine, Kramer and Newman dog-nap a neighbor’s barking dog, drive it to the country and dump it.”

OBVIOUSLY, THEY HAVEN’T LOOKED UNDER THE DOME: We don’t mean to be a pit bull about it, but we notice that the 1996 Universal Almanac persists in claiming that the Spruce Goose is among the “attractions” of Long Beach. Actually, the big bird moved to a museum in McMinnville, Ore., in 1992.

Elsewhere on the knowledge beat, we were heartened to see that the World Almanac and Book of Facts no longer claims that Rancho Palos Verdes Councilwoman Susan Brooks is a member of Congress.

You may recall that the 1995 edition went to press when Brooks, a Republican, was leading incumbent Rep. Jane Harman by 93 votes in their election fight. Subsequent absentee votes gave Harman the victory, which is acknowledged in the 1996 World Almanac. No concession speech from the editors, though.

And, finally, Will Simpson of L.A. congratulates Webster’s New Dictionary on correcting the error that occurred in a 1994 edition. Simpson surmises that Webster’s went out and acquired a spell-checker.

SEASONAL EMPLOYMENT: Paul Shepard of Gardena, who snapped today’s photo, wrote: “We often hear people wonder what Santa Claus and his helpers do during the off-season. . . .”

BEHIND THE SEVEN BALL: Tom Bratter notes that the L.A. Downtown News has received two letters from Oldsmobile headquarters that list the newspaper’s West First Street address as West “Thirst” Street and as West “Hearst” Street. “It makes you wonder,” Bratter says, “if Oldsmobile, which was famous for its 88 and 98 automobiles, now has an aversion to numbers.”

miscelLAny:

In its “Best (and Worst) of ‘95” issue, TV Guide gives thumbs down to the basketball “mob” at UC Santa Barbara, “which has a nasty habit of flinging thousands of soft, sticky tortillas on the court after the home team scores its first basket.” We wonder if the “Seinfeld” writers might have an idea of how to get rid of the pests.