Ducks’ Thrill Ride Is Hard to Stomach

Everything in excess is the Disney way, so it was only a matter of time before the corporate edict got posted on the Ducks’ locker room bulletin board.

Company orders being company orders, this is how the Ducks have spent the first 31 games of their third NHL season:

First 10 games: 2-8.

Next 10 games: 8-2.

Next 11 games after that: 1-7-3.

Follow the bouncing hockey team as it plays the Western Conference standings like a pinball machine. Down, up, down again and now approaching tilt with a franchise record nine-game winless streak.

“Nine games?� Duck wing Todd Krygier asked. “It’s only been nine?�

Yes, Sunday’s 3-1 loss to Edmonton at The Pond was No. 9. Six defeats, three ties and no victories since before Thanksgiving--Nov. 21, to be exact, by a sliver over Calgary, 3-2.

Along the way, the Ducks have had a few players hurt.

Not one or two, like most teams.

The Ducks have lost nine players to injuries, pouring it on again, throwing moderation to the wind and thinking seriously about installing a turnstile at the entrance of the trainer’s room.

As of game time Sunday, the Ducks had seven regulars out with--are you ready?--a laceration of the right forearm (Don McSween), a broken right wrist (Valeri Karpov), a dislocated right thumb (Shaun Van Allen), a sprained left knee (Steve Rucchin), a bruised right knee (David Karpa), a pulled groin (Peter Douris) and a post-op left hand that looks like the schematic for a miniature toy railroad (Todd Ewen).

Result?

“We got a lot of guys here who haven’t played in the NHL before,� Krygier said. “We pretty much have one on each line right now. . . . And, basically, we haven’t got any goals out of them yet.�

From time to time, this has been known to contribute to nine-game winless streaks.

So do 0-for-7 shooting nights, such as the one Krygier cringed through against the Oilers.

(What is it with this place? Saturday, Maryland and Purdue combine to shoot 26% here. Then they peel away the hardwood, Zamboni the ice and the Ducks, paced by Krygier, pull off a cool 1-for-33. Welcome to the Broken Arrowhead Pond of Anaheim.)

Among Krygier’s swings and misses:

* A point-blank blast from the right side, swept aside by Edmonton goalie Bill Ranford.

* An untouched open net after a rebound up close, with Ranford on his belly, studying the crystal formations of blue ice shavings scattered in the crease.

* Another point-blank blast with 5:47 to play, a puck that never found net, only a brightly colored dasher-board advertisement over Ranford’s left shoulder.

Afterward, Krygier claimed, “I was happy with my shots tonight. Not all are going to go in. My objective is to put the puck on the net. The last few games we’d noticed Ranford had been having trouble with rebounds. For me, the most important thing was giving us chances to do something with a rebound.�

The Ducks had more rebounds than they knew what to do with, which was precisely the problem.

Ranford turned back first shots and second shots too, on those occasions when the Ducks could put back-to-back attempts on net. Most of the time, it was save by Ranford, rebound to Duck shooter, puck sprayed somewhere in the vicinity of Anaheim Hills.

The Ducks caught no breaks from the officials, either. A potential third-period Duck power play was obliterated after Oiler defenseman Jiri Slegr whacked his stick into Krygier, a blatant hooking penalty that sent Krygier sprawling on the ice. Slegr was cited, but so was Krygier--for “unsportsmanlike diving.�

Unsportsmanlike diving?

Isn’t that a cannonball by the fat kid at the public pool on a crowded summer Saturday?

“I think [linesman Jay] Sharrers should look it up,� Krygier said, disgustedly. “I don’t understand how you can have a hook and a dive at the same time.�

Someone told Krygier that Sunday’s referee, Richard Trottier, whistled the Kings’ Eric LaCroix for the same infraction Saturday night.

“He’s got a little diving fetish he needs to get over,� Krygier observed.

So, apparently, do the Ducks.

The dive has been in progress since Nov. 21 and nine stories later, the plot line hasn’t veered a bit.

“Right now, we miss a lot of the role players who are hurt,� Krygier said. “We have some big holes that need to be filled.�

Especially the big hole behind the opposing goaltender. The one with bright red posts located on either side.