Early December once again found Santa...

Early December once again found Santa Claus in the paperback section of his favorite bookstore, looking for last-minute gifts. The budget cuts at the Environmental Protection Agency meant he could get away with lumps of coal for the people on the “naughty” list, he figured, but he still needed some presents for the “nice.”

PICKS! The Colorful Saga of Vintage Celluloid Guitar Plectrums by Will Hoover (Miller Freeman Books: $12.95; 107 pp., paperback original). This title wins the coveted title of Silliest Paperback Gift Book of the Year. But virtually every other product has been elevated to the status of “collectible” and there’s bound to be someone who would like a copy.

After lighting a small fire in the O.J. Simpson section of the bookstore, Santa departed with his traditional apostrophe, “Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Read! “