Where It’s OK if Men Don’t Want to Dance With Women : ‘That’s it! By the time we’re done, you’ll be dancing like Ginger and Ginger.’

On the first night of dancing class, the boys are sitting with the boys and the girls are sitting with the girls.

But in this case it’s only natural. Welcome to Shall We Dance, a ballroom dancing school serving gays and lesbians.

“Let’s start by having you form two rows, those who want to lead on this side and those who want to follow over here,” announces the school’s founder and sole teacher, Gloria Paternostro. In a style alternately authoritarian and friendly, Paternostro directs her students--15 men and 15 women--from the tiny, raised stage of a room at the Burbank Board of Realtors.

When they are all lined up across the parquet wood floor, Paternostro counts out 16 on one side who want to lead and 14 across the way who would rather follow.

One of the men in the lead line crosses over without being asked.

“Wonderful,” exclaims Paternostro. “That never happens in my straight classes.”

During the next two hours, amid much laughter and self-effacing jokes, these 30 students--ranging in age from their 20s to well into middle age--learn a few of the basic fox trot, waltz and swing steps. Some of the men move with ease and grace, bolstering the stereotype of gay men as stylish dancers. Others put that stereotype to rest for good.

The same range of natural talents can be seen among the lesbians.

“Don’t look at your feet,” Paternostro says to a female couple working on a fox trot step. “They don’t work any better if you watch them, I promise you.”

The women try, this time pulling it off without a hitch.

“That’s it!” Paternostro says. “By the time we’re done, you’ll be dancing like Ginger and Ginger.”

No matter their ability, everyone in the class seems to be having a great time. “When I was growing up, there was no partner dancing,” says Sandy Viall, 37, of Marina del Rey, a child of the disco ‘70s. “I missed all that. I had no idea how much fun this would be.”

The English-born Paternostro did not want to give her age, but she made it clear that she grew up in an era when ballroom dancing was not only alive but a valued social skill. She first danced at age 16 to the English society orchestra of Victor Sylvestor, whose saxophone-laden recording of “Call Me Irresponsible” she now uses when teaching the fox trot.

“I was trained in international style dancing,” she tells the class. It’s the formal style still used in ballroom dance competitions. Here, she teaches the less exacting American social style.

“I could teach international style,” she tells them, “but you don’t want to learn this so you can be on PBS in $2,000 outfits and glitter on your faces.”

“Who says?” shoots back one of the men in the class.

Everyone laughs.

It was in a straight class several years ago that Paternostro, who is straight, got the idea of starting a school catering to gays and lesbians.

“Two men came into the class, very cultured, charming, well-dressed,” she says. “The younger one was very attentive of me. Whenever I was dancing with someone, I would see that he was looking at my feet.

“I thought that he might want to learn my part.”

Paternostro was then teaching at a well-established school. When she started Shall We Dance classes in rented rooms on her own, there was some resistance from her regular employer.

“They told me people would think I was gay, and I told them ‘who cares?’ ” she said. “But I think the real reason was that they were concerned--and it’s a legitimate concern--that if I taught all those men, they would come to the regular dances and dance together. And that would freak out the regular clientele.

“From a business standpoint, I could understand that.”

Because she persisted in teaching the gay and lesbian classes, she was eventually eased out of that job, she believes.

To spread the word about her classes, which cost $50 for a six-class series, she began advertising in the local gay and lesbian papers and sending out flyers to organizations.

Rudy Danner, 31, studying for a doctorate in astronomy at Caltech, heard about it at the school’s gay student group. Back in Germany where he grew up, he had friends who danced international style. He had also been interested in taking classes.

“I think I might have felt awkward in a regular class,” he said. “Here, people do not have a problem changing partners, dancing with everyone.”

Except for four couples who elect to dance only with each other during the class, Paternostro had everyone change partners several times.

At one point Danner, who is 6 feet, 2 inches tall, is following the lead of a petite woman. This proves to be a problem when Danner had to swing under her arm, bending his knees almost to floor to fit.

“I’m working on making that graceful,” he said.

Karen Lovett, 38, a financial controller living in Topanga, had formerly taken a standard Western swing class at Santa Monica College. “I wanted to learn to lead, but it was just not possible in that class,” she said.

More important, she prefers the atmosphere at Shall We Dance. “It’s more relaxed for me, friendlier. In the Santa Monica class there were single guys and a couple of them came on to me.

“That’s OK, but I didn’t really want to have to deal with it.”

When the class ends, the students seem reluctant to leave. “This is just great here, everyone is so accepting,” said L.B., 45, a balding man who lives in Glendale.

After a few minutes of chatting, L.B. had a confession to make. “You know,” he said quietly, “I’m not gay.”

Then, what was he doing here?

“I’m a cross dresser,” he explained. “I need to learn how to follow.”