PRO FOOTBALL ’95 : In St. Lose, er, St. Louis, a Grand Old Tradition Continues : Rams: New city, new coach, but they won’t make the playoffs again.

Jerome Bettis, arguably St. Louis’ best player, carried the ball 20 times in exhibition play this summer and averaged less than a foot per effort.

Same old Rams. You can wipe off the “Los Angeles” wherever it might appear, load up the trucks and practice proudly near the Gateway Arch, but in the last five years the Tampa Bay Buccaneers have won two more games than the Rams. There is no reason to believe the trend won’t continue.

In fact, without making any mention of Georgia Frontiere and John Shaw, there are at least 10 reasons why the Rams won’t be invited to the playoffs for a sixth consecutive season:

1. Evel Knievel at quarterback: When Chris Miller takes the field, it’s like watching the world’s most famous daredevil prepare to jump the Snake River Canyon. He’s simply not going to make it. A year ago, he suffered a pulled abdominal muscle, a concussion, a pinched nerve in his right shoulder, a concussion, a twisted knee and yet another concussion. In his first performance this year--in the first quarter of the first exhibition game--he suffered a concussion. The Rams might want to install a bullpen in their new stadium to allow Mark Rypien to stay warm at all times.

2. Carolina trap: Which expansion team wins first? OK, which expansion teams gets a crack at the Rams first? Carolina opens its inaugural season at Atlanta and then travels to Buffalo before returning for its first game at home against the Rams. The Rams will be ripe for a letdown; they will be coming off the emotional high of playing their first regular-season game in St. Louis. Chris Berman is already in rehearsal: “Panthers Feast on Lambs.”

3. Consistency: It’s going to happen. . . . Steve Young is going to top all quarterbacks, Emmitt Smith is going to set the pace running the ball, Jerry Rice will lead all receivers and the Rams are going to be 1-2 to start the season. Five years in a row.

4. Bobby Beathard hand-me-downs: The Rams hired Rich Brooks as head coach despite an overall record of 91-109-4 at Oregon. Brooks then hired Willie Shaw as defensive coordinator, although Beathard, San Diego general manager and builder of Super Bowl teams, passed on promoting Shaw to the same position with the Chargers in favor of Dave Adolph. Brooks also hired Jack Reilly as offensive coordinator, although Beathard let him go in favor of keeping Ralph Friedgen as Bobby Ross’ top offensive assistant.

5. Kicking it away: In true Ram tradition, the team that squandered every draft pick acquired in the trade of Eric Dickerson has elected to fire Tony Zendejas and employ Steve McLaughlin. The Rams dumped Zendejas because he lacks a strong leg, although he is the NFL record-holder for best percentage from 50-plus yards. The Rams used a third-round pick in the draft on McLaughlin; they also used third-round picks in recent years on Russell White, Marc Boutte, James Bostic, Ernest Jones and Latin Berry. So far, McLaughlin is one for three from 30 yards or longer and has missed two extra points.

6. No parole: Darryl Henley, the team’s best cornerback last season, is in jail awaiting sentencing on a drug trafficking conviction. Question: What happens first? Henley getting out of prison or the Rams making the playoffs? Hint: Under the law, Henley must be sentenced to a minimum 10 years. Still, a very tough question.

7. Hands not packed: In the rush to leave Anaheim, team officials neglected to bring along receivers who can catch. And just who are the Ram receivers? Isaac Bruce and Alexander Wright. So which one does Deion Sanders cover?

8. Building a winner: In the last three years, the Rams have allowed Gerald Perry, Kevin Greene, Pat Carter, Flipper Anderson, Henry Ellard, Chris Chandler and Marquez Pope to leave via free agency. They were able to get a seventh-round pick for Jim Everett, though.

9. Prepare to duck: It’s one thing to go with Miller over Chandler at quarterback, but a fragile Miller? Chuck Norris couldn’t survive behind this offensive line. Wayne Gandy, the team’s No. 1 pick, who played like a revolving door last season with defensive ends spinning past him, will be charged with the duty of protecting Miller’s blindside. Bettis says, “We’ll go as far as our offensive line takes us.” So far, an unconscious man falling flat on his facemask would gain more yardage than Bettis with these guys’ help.

10. They are still the Rams: They won their opener a year ago, but before that, the last time the team was over .500 was Dec. 24, 1989. St. Louis fans say no sweat: As long as the Cardinals were there, they never witnessed a home playoff game.