Well, Who’s Going to Tell Him They Don’t Think It’s Manly?

While visiting the Orlando Magic locker room before a game with the Lakers at the Forum on March 20, Woody Woodburn of the Ventura Star noticed that Shaquille O’Neal’s toenails are painted red.

“No pedicure,� Shaq said. “I do it myself.�

Wrote Woodburn: “Suddenly Rosey Grier’s needlepoint hobby seems as manly as rebuilding a race-car engine.�

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Trivia time: Who holds the major league record for most grand slams?

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Catbird seat: The lonely cat in the rafters at Southern Methodist’s Moody Coliseum was finally rescued Monday.

The feline attracted national attention last Thursday, when, in the middle of a news conference, she let out a loud meow for 15 seconds.

Humane cat traps were put out but with no luck. She was finally caught with sardines as bait. The cat quickly found a home with Barbara Sanders, a member of the SMU custodial staff.

“I’ll call it Moody,� she said.

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Net bread winners: Mark Preston of Tennis magazine asked Brad Gilbert, Andre Agassi’s coach, whether he thought parents of tennis players are worse than in any other sport.

“It’s awful,� Gilbert said. “On the women’s tour, it’s a total travesty because so many of these girls become good and their parents have no jobs. So you have a 14-year-old earning all the money for the family.�

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Ouch! Gary Shelton in the St. Petersburg Times: “Now that Nancy Kerrigan is engaged, you wonder what Tonya Harding will get her for a wedding present. My guess is the Club.�

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Come again? Mitch Albom, on ESPN’s Sports Reporters Sunday, said baseball’s return is “like a rock group breaking up and getting back together. There’s more excitement now.�

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Vicious: Earl McRae of the Ottawa Sun on the floundering local NHL team: “The Senators are a pathetic, gawd-awful collection of stiffs. And the prime reason is GM Randy Sexton, who should have his know-nothing . . . fired out of here.�

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Hard to make par: When Hakeem Olajuwon sat out eight games because of iron deficiency anemia, Pete Chilcutt, Houston Rocket forward/center, was asked how his absence affected the team:

“It’s like playing golf without your driver,� he said.

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Overkill? Recent headline in the New York Post: “Wretched Nets on death’s door.�

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Anything else? Joseph A. Reaves of the Chicago Tribune reported that when a Japanese sportswriter was asked how former Florida Marlin first baseman Orestes Destrade was doing in his return to Japan this year, he got a succinct answer:

“Weight over. Power down. Homer or nothing.�

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Looking back: On this day in 1958, the Montreal Canadiens won the Stanley Cup for the third consecutive year with a 5-3 victory over the Boston Bruins in the sixth game.

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Trivia answer: Lou Gehrig of the New York Yankees with 23 from 1923 to 1939.

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Quotebook: Phoenix Sun Coach Paul Westphal, responding to criticism that he’s too soft on his players: “Maybe I should get a tattoo and start cussing.�