Opening Off-Anaheim: Albert Rowuin doubts that the...

Opening Off-Anaheim: Albert Rowuin doubts that the musical coming to the San Gabriel Civic Auditorium next month will play any subsequent engagements in the region that the Rams are deserting. The production’s title: “Meet Me in St. Louis.�

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How come taxpayers can’t find the IRS?Dana Alexander of Santa Barbara points out that the tax-return instructions in the 1040EZ form booklet say, “Do not attach the payment to the return.� “Do not� is in boldface.

But the instructions on the return envelope included with the 1040EZ form booklet say: “Did You Remember to . . . Attach your check or money order made payable to the Internal Revenue Service?�

And to think--some misguided souls say the tax system needs to be simplified.

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Looking for a filly: Jerry Cowle of Pacific Palisades found a singles ad in the Daily Racing Form, of all places (see excerpt). It’s for a single human, by the way. And, as you can see from his instructions, Mr. Affluent Race Fan seems pretty particular. We’re surprised he doesn’t want to check the teeth too.

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)rag,r

Rah-rah types: Several notables served as cheerleaders in high school, according to “The Book of Lists (The 90s Edition).� Some seem a bit surprising in retrospect. It’s difficult to imagine a raw-raw type like Madonna rooting on the home team at good ol’ Adams High School in Rochester, Mich.

Here are some others:

* Paula Abdul (Van Nuys High)

* Sally Field (Birmingham High, Van Nuys)

* Patty Hearst Shaw (Sacred Heart School, Menlo Park)

* Jerry Lewis, Irvington (N.J.) High

* Susan Lucci, Garden City (N.Y.) High

* Steve Martin (Garden Grove High)

* Michael Milken (Birmingham High)

* Raquel Welch (La Jolla High)

* Vanna White, North Myrtle Beach (S.C.) High

Now we know where White acquired her skill for spell-outs.

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SmelL.A. : We mentioned the other day that some neighbors of one beach city call it “Smell Segundo� because of its sewage-treatment plant. That prompted a call from Liam Weston, the mayor pro tem, who pointed out that the Hyperion plant in question is actually in a portion of L.A. that borders El Segundo. Weston said his city is taking legal action in an attempt to force Hyperion to clean up its act. “If it had been in El Segundo, we would have fined it for the smell it puts out,� Weston said.

miscelLAny We’re sure it’s a coincidence but, in the old industrial section of L.A., Terminal Street is located just a few blocks from Hemlock Street.