Divorce-court flashback: The judge asked prospective jurors...

Divorce-court flashback: The judge asked prospective jurors in a Superior Court case in Santa Monica whether anybody felt they should be excused from duty. One man raised his hand, reports Dorothy Lindner, who was also in the jury pool.

Said Lindner: “He told the judge, ‘Your honor, I cannot be on this panel because the prosecuting attorney looks exactly like my ex-wife.’ �

Excused.

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Speaking of painful experiences: KLOS-FM’s Mark and Brian held a contest titled, “What Would You Do for Super Bowl Tickets?� and the winner was Keith Hibbs of Garden Grove, who did this:

He dropped his pants while an associate threw 29 darts into his rear end on Friday at the Olympic Velodrome in Carson.

“Why 29 darts?� we asked without thinking.

“For Super Bowl 29,� responded KLOS spokesman Ruben Aguilar.

Hibbs won air fare to Miami and hotel accommodations for two as well as a pair of Super Bowl tickets. No word on whether he was actually able to sit in his seat.

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Where not to be at rush hour: R & R, a newspaper published by Radio & Records Inc., says employees of the Metro Traffic reporting service voted L.A. and New York as the two cities with the worst congestion in America. It’s enough to make you want to move to Seattle. Except that Seattle was ranked fourth.

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And even the driveways are vibrating: Mike Grundmann photographed an odd sign at an office building in Burbank. Perhaps the wording is meant as a reminder that there are active earthquake faults in the area, too.

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Kids, don’t read this: Cherry Belanger, an L.A. kindergarten teacher, found the accompanying message in her school cafeteria and suspects the sign writer could use a bit of remedial instruction in grammar.

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Out-of-court TV: Critters, a Hermosa Beach bar, displays a sign in its front window that reads, “O.J. Trial NOT Shown Here!!!�

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A nose for news: The L.A. Downtown News, meanwhile, has raised a new issue regarding coverage of the Simpson trial. The newspaper asked its readers whether anyone else has noticed that “the inside of the nose� of one local TV reporter “is shiny. Yes, shiny. Almost polished. More than clipped, definitely more than clipped.�

Something to mull over in Critters.

miscelLAny American Express’ gift catalogue for its Optima Awards frequent-user program includes: “Dinner with owner and pro hockey game for two. . . . The Kings are at the Forum, and you and your guest will be, too, for dinner and the game with Kings owner Bruce McNall.� Now that McNall has filed for bankruptcy, we suspect there’ll be one small change: You and your guest can still have dinner with McNall and see the game, only now you have to pay.