Foundering County Needs the Huffingtons at the Helm

There’s a dreariness hanging over the Orange County landscape these days. Don’t be fooled by those who say things aren’t so bad. The Good Ship Lollipop that used to be Orange County is taking on water. The Ducks are in hiding, the Rams are leaving, the Angels may show up in drag and, by the way, the county is bankrupt. County employees fear for their jobs, and city and school officials are hearing footsteps. As a starting five, only the Clippers had a worse December than the Board of Supervisors.

Predictably, the public is torn between confusion and anger, wondering if anyone in charge knows what they’re doing. In fact, who is in charge? Discovering that it isn’t very good at supervising, the board seems to abdicate more authority every week (thank heaven for small favors), but that has left a void. To whom does the average citizen turn for hope?

Orange County needs a First Family. We need a Mommy and a Daddy who remind us of what we’re all about. Someone of whom, when we look in the mirror, we can say, “Yeah, that’s me.”

America had Roosevelt in the ‘40s; England had Thatcher in the ‘80s.

Orange County in the ‘90s needs . . .

The Huffingtons!

Yes, those Huffingtons--Mike and Arianna.

Sure, they live up in Santa Barbara, but they’re like fish out of water up there. Orange County is where they belong. Besides, Santa Barbara County can lay partial claim to the Reagans; how many First Families does it need? If the Huffingtons stay there, they’ll always be in the Reagans’ shadow.

Down here, they’ve got the field all to themselves. Not to be indelicate about it, but Orange County has been much more hospitable to the Huffingtons than Santa Barbara County. In his U.S. Senate race against Dianne Feinstein, Huffington got 45% of the vote statewide but only 43% in his own county. Forty-three percent? Good grief, has the man no sense of pride? That’s like having the neighbors come over and TP your house, for Pete’s sake.

Orange County, on the other hand, gave him 59% of its vote. That’s right, Bunky, 14 percentage points higher than the rest of California and 16 points above his home county.

Now, you tell me, who deserves Mike Huffington more than Orange County?

He is Orange County. Who better to speak for us than a man who denounced illegal immigration as a drain on society, only to reveal that he entrusted his children to an illegal immigrant for five years? This from a man whose father was one of the richest men in the country and whose own net worth was put in the $70-million range. Yes, he could have afforded day care, but you don’t stay rich paying the going rate.

And what about his never-say-die attitude? Nothing could be more valuable now in this troubled county. After all, this is a man who, when $5 million wasn’t enough for his Senate race, upped it to $10 million, then $20 million, then $25 million. That’s real spunk. And let’s not forget that he hasn’t even conceded defeat yet to Feinstein, contending that voter fraud cost him the election. There’s no quit in the man!

And given the local citizenry’s disenchantment at the moment with the supervisors, who better to speak for us than the non-politician? In his only term in Congress, Huffington sponsored three bills and spoke for a total of eight minutes on the House floor. Can government get any leaner and meaner than that?

But remember, we’re talking First Family. The Huffingtons are a package deal. Mike without Arianna is nothing, but maybe you already read about that during the campaign. No, what I mean is she’s got First Family appeal all by herself. By all accounts a charmer, Arianna is just airy enough with her “Is she a New Ager or isn’t she?” mystique to appeal to our sense of novelty.

But what we really like about them, and what would make them Orange County’s ideal First Family, is their money. Not just their money, but Huffington’s professed belief that voluntarism is the answer to society’s problems.

Imagine what those Huffington millions could do in Orange County, especially now. And since it plays directly into his personal philosophy, everybody comes out a winner. What better place to display his voluntaristic bent than a bankrupt county?

I’m surprised that Arianna hasn’t seen the karma in all this. Seldom have a couple and a county been better suited.

So, while opponents carp at Huffington as being nothing but a lucky rich kid guided only by unbridled ambition and the ability to spout homilies, all I can say is . . .

Mike and Arianna, come on down!

Dana Parsons’ column appears Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. Readers may reach Parsons by writing to him at The Times Orange County Edition, 1375 Sunflower Ave., Costa Mesa, Calif. 92626, or calling (714) 966-7821.