Real Life Provides Comics Relief : Comedy: Thanks to the Menendez trial, Michael Jackson, the quake, Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt and Tonya Harding, ‘The jokes are writing themselves these days.’

It may be a lousy time to be wealthy parents, abusive husbands, figure skaters or Angelenos in general, but it’s a great time for comics, who have enjoyed an embarrassment of riches when it comes to topical fodder for jokes.

“The jokes are writing themselves these days,” says comedian Rick Overton, who recently performed at Comic Relief VI.

“An opportunity like this doesn’t come along often, but it seems they’re coming around a lot more lately,” observes Kevin Ryder, part of KROQ-FM’s morning team of Kevin and Bean.

“It’s great for the writers of ‘The Tonight Show’ and ‘Letterman,’ ” says comic and actor Kevin Pollack. “This is what they live for. A slow news day affects them more than actual reporters--that’s when they sweat.”

They haven’t been sweating recently. Chief among humor topics nowadays is, of course, that recent morning in which the earth itself became a giant Magic Fingers jammed with enough quarters to turn beds from Ventura to Vegas into mechanical bulls. Michael Jackson, however, shot to No. 1 in the comedy hit parade when he spent millions to ensure that the adjective “alleged” would forever come before the phrase “child molester” in descriptions of him.

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Tonya Harding, the American Gladiator of figure skaters, currently takes the bronze medal in the world of comedy--unless she decides to take a whack at Jackson’s knees. Two hung juries revived interest in the Sons-Who-Kill-Too-Much saga of Lyle and Erik Menendez.

And the old war horse of topical gags--the Battling Bickersons of the ‘90s, Lorena and John Wayne Bobbitt--received a burst of renewed energy when a jury decided Lorena was a few sandwiches short of a picnic when she plunged an ordinary kitchen utensil into the annals of legal history.

All this has overshadowed otherwise fertile fields for jesting, such as Bobby Ray Inman’s quixotic, very public bout of paranoia, Dan Quayle’s appearance in a potatoe, er, potato chip commercial and the historic news that the remaining Beatles are reuniting.

“When you write everyday , periods like this are a lot more fun than those days when you pick up a paper and the choices are a tired ‘Gore is still stiff’ joke,” says late-night host Arsenio Hall. “When Troy Aikman got his concussion or Prince Charles got attacked, I knew the mix had to be ‘Tonya Harding’s a Bills fan’ or ‘Now Tonya wants to be king.’ These days, the jokes don’t totally write themselves, but the news lately sure helps the work flow better.”

Some of the choicest bits include:

Of Jackson, Overton asks rhetorically, “How dysfunctional do you have to be to have LaToya think you’ve got problems?” Leno adds that since Jackson settled the suit to concentrate on his music, “next month he starts his ‘Guiltier Than Hell’ tour.”

Leno began earthquake jokes the day after the temblor: “Welcome to Los Angeles: Some Assembly Required.”

“We don’t even have money to fix the stuff that is broken,” Leno added. “Like the freeway. You see what they are doing on the Santa Monica Freeway that caved in? They just put up a big sign that said, ‘Dip.’ ‘

Kevin and Bean have created a Seismo-line, in which Olympic-style judges give Richter scale scores whenever an aftershock is felt. “The Czech judge will just give it a 3.7, and there’ll be boos from the crowd,” Ryder explains.

Overton says, “Now I’m walking around my house with a portable door frame on wheels.”

Pollack points out that Universal Studios theme park temporarily closed its Earthquake attraction. “ ‘Out of respect,’ they say. Out of respect. Why don’t they tear the damn thing down out of respect? These are the same guys who’d go to the Midwest and build a Big Flood ride.”

David Letterman, meanwhile, has blazed territory in the Harding case: “Because of the pressure that Atty. Gen. Janet Reno has been putting on the networks to cut down on the violence on TV, today CBS announced that they were dropping figure skating.” Letterman also suggested Shannen Doherty play Harding in the made-for-TV movie.

Leno on the Menendez brothers: “Today, I got a speeding ticket. Actually, I got out of it. I told the cops I was rushing home to kill my parents. So they said, ‘OK, go ahead.’ ” Leno also observed that the jurors at Erik Menendez’s trial grew to like him, adding, “That would’ve made his parents so proud.”

Pollack says, “After having to spend the holidays with my family, I can begin to relate to the Menendez brothers. I’m sitting there thinking, I could take my mom out easily, but to get my dad I’ll probably have to reload--he’s still pretty quick.”

And anyone who sat through Comic Relief VI can only salute Pollack when he says, “I’m staying away from Bobbitt jokes. There are too many (penis) jokes around in the first place.”