HOW DARK AND STORMY WAS IT? : 'The Legend of Wangfried Knobblestone' - Los Angeles Times
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HOW DARK AND STORMY WAS IT? : ‘The Legend of Wangfried Knobblestone’

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<i> Siddhartha Sundaram, 25, of Cerritos, is a law school graduate</i>

A very long time ago, a man named Wangfried Knobblestone became mayor of a happy little town called Taffetta.

He was old, wrinkled and hunchbacked. His teeth were yellow and he had long fingernails. He was miserly, greedy and cruel and would gleefully cackle when he saw a sad or sick person. He would limp around town waving his thick black cane in the air, trying to hit anyone he could.

And above all, the mayor hated celebrations.

“I outlaw Halloween!†cried the mayor. “No parties, no costumes, no trick or treating! Anyone caught outside after dark or who opens his door for anyone will be thrown in jail!â€

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One cold Halloween night, Mayor Knobblestone finished counting all the taxes he had collected from townsfolk and set off for his mansion at the edge of town. The streets were empty and a cold, damp wind blew the leaves and made the mayor’s face red. Close by, thunder and lightning cracked the sky. A horrible storm was approaching and Mayor Knobblestone hurried homeward, his cane going tap, tap, tap against the cobblestones.

The mayor spied someone standing against one of the lampposts in the town square. Furious that someone would disobey his order, he walked toward him, intending to throw the fellow in jail.

“Hey you!†Mayor Knobblestone screamed. “What do you think you’re doing standing here after dark on Halloween? You’re breaking the law and I’m going to throw you in jail!â€

The mayor noticed that this stranger was dressed much like him--long dark coat, black boots, a top hat, even a cane.

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The stranger spoke, and his voice sounded like fingernails scraping a chalkboard, his breath smelled like the inside of an old coffin.

“Mayor Knobblestone,†he hissed, “it is so nice to meet you finally. I’ve been waiting for you for some time.â€

Because he was so cold and uncomfortable, the mayor decided to give the stranger a warning and then rush home to the warmth of the fire. He looked closely into the stranger’s eyes and almost fainted. For all there was of the stranger’s face were two red, glowing eyes and a round, fiery hole that was his mouth.

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“Wh-who are you?†the mayor cried in terror as he backed away from the dark figure.

“Don’t you know?†replied the stranger, as bits of flame dribbled from his mouth onto his black coat. “You summoned me, Mayor Knobblestone.â€

“I did not!†stammered the mayor.

“You did,†hissed the other, “by taking this town and wiping out all the joy, the laughter and the hope from its face and replacing it with sadness, pain and despair. Why, you are so good at being mayor that I have come to ask you to be the mayor of my town.â€

“What town is that?â€

“Oh, it has many names,†screeched the stranger, “but perhaps you know it best as Hell.â€

He began to laugh horribly, howling like a dog, so that the glass broke in nearby shop windows.

Mayor Knobblestone began to run as fast as he could from the horrible demon. Yet the farther he ran, the closer sounded the demon’s horrible laugh.

“You cannot hide, Mayor,†it cackled. “No one will have you except for me!â€

The mayor saw a house ahead with a light in the window, and he rushed to the door and banged loudly. “Help!†he shouted. “Let me in now!â€

A man came to the door, and the mayor saw it was the town blacksmith.

“Blacksmith,†he cried, “let me in. There is a horrible demon chasing me!â€

But the blacksmith said, “I am sorry, Mayor. By your own rules I cannot open the doorafter dark.â€

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He bolted the door and drew the curtains.

Terrified, the mayor turned around and saw the red-eyed monster racing toward him, flying through the howling wind like a large bat. His red eyes glowed brightly and fire dripped from his mouth.

“Wangfried Knobblestone,†it screeched, “I’m coming for you!â€

The mayor began to run again. He ran and ran, feeling the hot, hissing breath on his back as the demon came closer, until he found himself in the dark forest that surrounded Taffetta. Turning, the mayor saw the glowing eyes and fiery mouth of the demon standing behind him.

“It’s time to go, Mayor Knobblestone,†it hissed, grabbing his arm with a hairy claw. No one ever saw Wangfried Knobblestone again. But every Halloween night, long after the children are safely in bed, the older folk listen to the howling wind and can hear the screams of Wangfried Knobblestone as he forever runs through the dark streets of his new town called Hell.

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