A Shelter Fit to Call Home : Troubled, Runaway Youths Find Refuge at Laurel House

TUSTIN —  Tucked in a cul-de-sac in an affluent residential neighborhood, the house looks no different than the rows of bungalows and single-family homes around it.

But inside, lives are being repaired in a caring and nurturing environment that most of the residents have never known in their lives. It’s called Laurel House, the only privately funded shelter for runaway teens in Orange County.

The six-bed facility, founded in 1986 by church volunteers Nadene Holub and Elinor Tompkins, also houses teen-agers who need a place to “cool off” in the midst of conflict with parents or abuse. For the past seven years, the home has been a refuge for those on the brink of getting into more serious trouble.

One resident, a 17-year-old girl, claims that her cries for help over the the past five years were not heeded before she arrived at Laurel House because “I was not pregnant, abused or an addict.”

The girl, who lived with her thrice-divorced mother--whom she described as a recovering alcoholic--said she was tired of taking care of her 4-year-old brother and 9-year-old sister.

“We had a role reversal,” she said. “I was playing mother while my mom was away most of the time.” Life had been that way since she was about 12 years old, she said.

The teen-ager thought of running away, but was afraid of living on the streets. In November of last year, she finally decided to leave home. Instead of turning up on the streets like most runaways, she ended up at Laurel House.

“It’s very structured here,” the girl said. “I know what is expected of me. There’s less stress and I’m even looking for a job.”

Tompkins, who now lives in Sacramento, said she and Holub founded the shelter because of the increasing number of teen-agers running away from home. Rather than seek help from public agencies, many teen-agers choose to live in cars or cheap motels.

“Many of these kids come to us angry and traumatized,” Tompkins said. “Many have been sexually abused. We try to provide them with a family environment.”

Laurel House provides counseling, medical care, food and clothing to youths ages 13 to 17 at no cost to them or their parents, said Al Lighty, a member of Laurel House’s board of directors.

The teen-agers are referred by the police, schools, churches and parents. Some call on their own. The shelter does not take in teens on probation, those with a criminal record or anyone who needs drug or alcohol treatment, he said.

The residents commonly stay from a month to six weeks, Lighty said. In some cases, they are allowed to stay until their home situations improve, he said.

Another 17-year-old girl has been at Laurel House for more than nine months, the longest stay among the six current residents. Coming from a broken home--her parents were divorced when she was 13--she has been heavily into gangs and alcohol since she was 14, but has no police record.

Last year, she was accepted at Laurel House after a nasty fight with her mother that resulted in the police being called to their Santa Ana home.

“We could not agree on anything,” the girl said. She said she had lived for a year with her father and was allowed to do anything she wanted. When she went back to live with her mother, she found herself in the opposite situation, she said.

“Eventually, I’ll be going back home to my mother,” she said. “But it would be a sad day because I love it here.”

“Our goal is to reunite families,” said Steve Edmondson, house parent at the shelter. He lives at Laurel House with his wife, Lynn, 30, and their 2 1/2-year old daughter, Cori.

Of the 69 teen-agers accepted to Laurel House last year, 63 were returned to their families, he said.

Edmondson said that parents are often surprised by the relaxed, homelike atmosphere at Laurel House. The teen-agers have chores; they go to school or to work. In addition, there are Bible studies, drug awareness sessions and counseling, he said. The teen-agers also volunteer to feed homeless people at the Santa Ana Civic Center once a week.

“Parents expect their children to be punished here,” Edmondson said. “This place is not for punishment. Some parents don’t appreciate what we’re doing here until they see the changes in their children.”

A 13-year-old boy, now in his third month at Laurel House, said he has learned to solve a problem without running away from it. “I’ve learned to get along with people,” said the youngster, who was referred to Laurel House by his parents. “Before, I always tried to find something wrong with them.”

With his parents fighting all the time, the youngster responded by staying away from home, skipping school and joining a gang. Now he is preparing for his move home by visiting his family once a week until they are ready to take him back.

“We try to make a gradual transition,” Edmondson said.

Eventually, the teen-ager will stay with his family for 48 hours and if no problems arise, he will be allowed to return permanently.

In many instances, teens end up making return trips to Laurel House because their family problems have not been solved, Edmondson said.

Money for the shelter comes from private donations. This week, the Tustin City Council presented Laurel House with a $5,000 check, proceeds from its 1993 chili cook-off. Volunteers also donate food, clothing and furniture and help maintain the home.

“We feel it was important for the young people to know that their community cares about them,” Tompkins said.

And that seems to be working.

The 17-year-old girl whose mother left her in charge of the family as a child said they have gone into counseling together. She is confident her future will be brighter.

“I want to better myself,” she said. “Despite my family problems, I will be successful.”

Second Home Laurel House is the only privately funded shelter for runaway teen-agers in Orange County. It handled more than 100 live-in cases last year. Most youths return to their homes after an average stay of four to six weeks. How many sought help 1990 In-home: 177 Day service: 76 1991 In-home: 77 Day service: 63 1992 In-home: 117 Day service: 69 Why they sought shelter (1992) Family conflict: (81%) Abuse, incest: (13%) Family substance abuse: (3%) Other: (3%) Ethnicity (1992) White: (67%) Latino: (29%) Other: (4%) Outcome (1992) Returned to family: (91%) Institutional placement: (4%) Foster home: (3%) Other shelters: (2%) Source: Laurel House; Researched by BERT ELJERA / For The Times