Mikey did it: Fishburn Avenue Elementary School...

Mikey did it: Fishburn Avenue Elementary School in Maywood received a packet of educational materials from a foundation-funded group called Mike’s Math Club. It was accompanied by a letter that began:

“You’re probably wondering, ‘Who is Mike?”’

The letter went on to say that Mike “started Mike’s Math Club (MMC) a few years ago. He began visiting classes and playing fun games that allowed students to practice their math skills. Mike is living in Northern California. Who knows, maybe one day you’ll get to meet him!”

Not this year, though. He has stopped visiting classes for a while. Mike is living in Northern California by order of the United States government. He’s in a federal prison. You see, Mike made some bad math errors in his junk bond biz. His full name is Michael Milken.

This time she’s the slappee: Spotlight, the L.A. Convention Bureau publication, reveals that the discarded celebrity duds on sale at Melrose Avenue’s A Star Is Worn include an old evening gown of Zsa Zsa Gabor’s. Only in L.A. respectfully asks readers to hold off buying that treasure. After all, Gabor was just slapped with a $3-million judgment by a federal jury in San Antonio for failing to fulfill a contract. By the time the case is resolved, she may want that evening gown back.

L.A. Landmarks: We don’t hold with the notion that Venice, Italy, is more romantic than Los Angeles. Or that its architecture is more interesting. Sure, Venice has the medieval Bridge of Sighs. But a Westwood dry cleaners shown in our photo has the modernistic Bridge of Sizes.

A speedy game of telephone tag: Nancy Haffner, a Century City headhunter, received a call from a casting company that--for some reason--was looking for a lawyer to play a bit part as the President in a Clint Eastwood movie.

Haffner phoned several acquaintances, including one lawyer whose secretary said, “I’ll let him know, but he’s in Hawaii on vacation.”

The lawyer phoned Haffner five minutes later.

That’s Hollywood: Two days after the death of actor Chuck Connors, The Times received a fax from a company announcing “the first-ever home video release of ‘The Rifleman--The Collector’s Edition.’ ”

Name that pavement: Motorists entering the L.A. Civic Center from the east may have noticed new blue signs on the street bridges. They say: “Los Angeles River.”

The identifiers were the idea of Tom LaBonge, an aide to City Councilman John Ferraro. “We’re just trying to increase awareness of the river,” LaBonge said. “I talked to one man who had moved here from Texas and he thought the river was a roadway. He wondered why he never saw anyone driving on it.”

Odd, that the signs would be blue, though. That’s a color sometimes associated with rivers that have water.

MiscelLAny:

This department owes Whittier an apology. Pat Nixon and Lou Hoover weren’t the only First Ladies who have resided in the city, as miscelLAny reported Thursday. Barbara Bush also lived in the city in the late 1940s while hubby George was a drilling-bit salesman for an oil company. You remember George.