CHARGER REVIEW : REPORT CARD : Team Climbs Above C Level

B QUARTERBACKS

Stan Humphries is on target to Anthony Miller, and then there are times when he’s throwing to ghosts only he can see. As bad as Dan McGwire looked, he has to figure in Charger plans down the road.

B RUNNING BACKS

Vic Hanhan, proprietor of LaFiesta Deli, wants his five customers to know that anyone who correctly says how many times Eric Bieniemy has carried the ball this year will receive a free sandwich today. Hint: Once.

A RECEIVERS

Anthony Miller catches bomb and goes for touchdown--just like he did in 1989. And you thought it was a fluke. Miller catches nine passes for 142 yards and the fans leave the goalposts standing?

B- OFFENSIVE LINE

“The Mighty Ducks.” Quack-master Carl Mauck gathers together a hapless bunch of lugs of all sizes and shapes and inspires them to mediocrity. Think Walt Disney would go for it?

A DEFENSIVE LINE

Warning: Sack dance performed by Blaise Winter is not to be tried at home. McGwire falls over his own feet, and Chris Mims gets credit for first sack. It was just a matter of time before he got it anyway. A lifetime.

A LINEBACKERS

Doug Thomas, a 5-foot-10, 178-pound wide receiver, has cross words with Junior Seau. You’d expect something like that from Shawn Jefferson. Enraged Seau goes on rampage, tackles anything that moves.

A DEFENSIVE BACKS

Aggressive Tony Blaylock has interception, has come on strong after being claimed off waivers, and just when it looked like Bobby Beathard had lost it.

B- SPECIAL TEAMS

Once Bobby Ross told Curtis Whitley to put on shirt during special teams practices, laughter stopped, kids got serious. Signup for kicking contest takes on new significance with each John Carney miss.

A COACHING

Randy Myers wins in extra innings, Donald Frank leads team with two interceptions and Bobby Ross gets first NFL win. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned.”