If He Decides to Take a Victory Lap, He Won’t Make Pit Stop

George Brett of the Kansas City Royals, who is in pursuit of 3,000 hits, hasn’t decided whether he will retire after this season.

Asked if he reaches that milestone, would he consider a farewell tour through the American League next season? He told the Kansas City Star that it would be fun to return to some places like Boston, or Texas.

“But why would I want to go back to New York?� Brett asked. “Why would I want to go back to a place where they boo you, yell obscenities at you, spit things at you? Why would I want to take another lap just for that?�

Why, indeed.

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Fun zone: The Meadowlands in East Rutherford, N.J., is just as inhospitable as New York.

Jerry Rice, 49er wide receiver, told Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle: “The fans have so many names for you. Bad names. One fan hollered to me, ‘Hey, Jerry, I hope you break your neck out there today.’ �

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Trivia time: Who holds the NFL record for most touchdown passes in a season?

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Safer record: Darren Daulton was at loss for words when he set the Philadelphia Phillies’ record for runs batted in by a catcher.

“I’ve never had a club record, except for car wrecks,� he said.

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Lovable lizard: From Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Examiner: “A Nike spokesman was discussing the Charles Barkley/Godzilla ad campaign and described the two as being like-minded creatures:

“ ‘They’re both sort of a bad guy (and) also sort of a sympathetic hero.’ Yeah, I’ve always gone soft and fuzzy for a lizard that pulls buildings out of the ground and throws them at army tanks.�

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What about smog? Pat Harlow, former USC offensive tackle now with the New England Patriots, on the laid-back behavior of fans in California in contrast to the East:

“Fans don’t care that much. They go to catch a few rays and get drunk. I was that way when I lived in California because tomorrow is always another beautiful day.�

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Vicious: Jim Reeves of the Ft. Worth Star-Telegram: “So (Dallas Cowboy Coach) Jimmy Johnson’s favorite pets are his aquarium fish, huh? What do they have in common? Cold-blooded comes to mind.�

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Priorities: Kevin Loughery, coach of the Miami Heat, said that USC guard Harold Miner, the Heat’s first-round draft choice, can be an outstanding defensive player.

“Well, can be means Miner isn’t right now,� Loughery told the Miami Herald. “But how many rookies are? Most guard their paychecks better than they do their man.�

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Trivia answer: Dan Marino of the Miami Dolphins with 48 in 1984.

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Quotebook: Bill Fitch, former New Jersey Nets’ coach, on life in the NBA: “You take it from management. You take it from players. You have no ally. It’s tough. You just end up trying to be a survivor.�