OFF-CENTERPIECE : MOVIES : Big-Screen Bradys: Have We Got Some Doozies for You

Back in the early 1970s when “The Brady Bunch� was a prime-time hit, the show’s creator, Sherwood Schwartz, would regularly receive fan letters that chilled him to the bone.

“Most of them were from young troubled girls,� he remembers. “They would write ‘I’m running away from home, coming out to Hollywood and moving in with the Brady Bunch.’ The characters were so beloved that some people apparently thought they were real.�

Over the course of the show’s five-year run, Schwartz received so many of these twisted notices of address change that he devised a form-letter response. “The letter was addressed to the parents, and basically said something along the lines of ‘If I were you, I’d watch your kid’. . . .�

Flash forward 20 years: The letters have started again. Only this time, the young fans don’t want to just join the Brady Bunch; they want to become them.

According to a source at Paramount, the studio has been inundated with hundreds of letters and phone calls from young actors and actresses who desperately want to nab roles in the studio’s $14-million “The Brady Bunch Movie,� which starts shooting in January and will be released in July. “Ever since we announced last week that we were going to cast unknowns in the parts, we’ve been flooded,� says the source. “I’ve never seen anything like this.�

Set in 1971, “The Brady Bunch Movie� will incorporate plot lines and famous snippets of dialogue from the television series (such as the Marsha chestnut “My nose . . . my nose!�) into a new plot hatched for the film, which revolves around some harrowing trouble at the Brady house. Schwartz, who wrote the movie with his son, Lloyd, confirms that a nationwide talent hunt for the roles of Mike and Carol Brady, their six children and their overworked/underpaid maid Alice has begun.

Aspiring actors interested in nabbing roles in the movie take note: If you want to play oldest son Greg or oldest daughter Marsha, looking good in a pair of groovy bell-bottoms is not enough. Schwartz and Paramount are looking for actors who can successfully mimic the gestures, voice and hairstyles of the original Brady Bunch actors. “It’s going to be a sort of spoof thing,� says the Paramount source. “It will have the feel of ‘The Real Live Brady Bunch,’ � the successful camp theatrical show, currently playing in Westwood, which started the nationwide “Brady Bunch� renaissance; that show’s creators, Jill and Faith Soloway, are casting consultants on “The Brady Bunch Movie�).

When asked if any of the original “Brady Bunch� actors are upset because they were not asked to play the parts they made famous in the movie version, Schwartz replied “not at all, because every one of them,� with the exception of the late Robert Reed, “will have cameos in the movie. They are actually going to be part of our promotion. Audience members will receive cards when they go in, asking them to properly identify the original actors and where they pop up. If they guess right, they will be eligible to win some sort of prize.

“We’ve decided to use unknowns,� Schwartz added, “because it will give the movie more of a reality feeling. Even though we’re not leaning this way now, I’m not completely ruling out the idea of casting some stars in the parts, though. Stars, after all, do help sell tickets.�

That said, Calendar contacted some of the industry’s top casting directors (and a couple of “Brady Bunch� experts) and asked them for their dream cast. Although their answers were extremely varied, there was one repetitive casting idea: Goldie, brush out that Florence Henderson shag wig and dust off that “Laugh-In� pantsuit.

BILLY HOPKINS (“J.F.K.� “Desperately Seeking Susan�): “I think Tom Hanks and Anjelica Huston would be a brilliant Mike and Carol Brady combo. Anjelica played a blonde, remember, in ‘The Grifters,’ so I think she’d be up for the challenge. I also like the idea of casting Elizabeth Taylor as Carol; the academy loves it when glamorous actresses shirk off the sequins and slap on an All-American face. And plus I hear she wants to work in movies again. Woody Allen could play Mike Brady opposite her. He’d be good; he likes kids.

“Michael J. Fox would be a great Greg, and Traci Lords would be good as Marsha. I’d cast Eve Plumb as Jan (the role the actress played on the TV series) . . . she’s still acting, remember. I think the best Alice of all would be Rebecca De Mornay (“The Hand That Rocks the Cradle�). I like the idea of an evil maid coming into that house and stealing the kids and husband away from Carol Brady.�

BARRY WILLIAMS (the original Greg Brady and author of the 3-million-selling memoir “Growing Up Brady�): “I’d like to run with Charles Grodin for the part of Mike Brady and Teri Garr for Carol. They would just light up the screen. I think ‘Saturday Night Live’s’ Pat (Julia Sweeney) would be a great Alice. I like the ambiguity there. And I think Robin Williams would be a great Sam the Butcher. If they could tag Madonna as Marsha, that would be exceptional. As for my role, I think they should hire Jerry Seinfeld.�

RISA BRAMON GARCIA (“Fatal Attraction,� “Sneakers�): “I think Kevin Kline and Goldie Hawn would be a great Mr. and Mrs. Brady. They’d send the material up a little bit, which is what this movie requires anyway. I think Linda Hunt would be a very good Alice, and I’d go with Christina Applegate (“Married . . . With Children�) and Robert Downey Jr. as Marsha and Greg.�

JEFF GREENBERG (“Cheers,� “Look Who’s Talking�): “I think you’d have to go with either Betty White or Dianne Wiest as Alice. As for Mike and Carol, I like the idea of using a real-life established couple for the roles. I think Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell would be excellent.�

MIKE FENTON (“Charlie,� “E.T.� “Honeymoon in Vegas�): “I like Jack Lemmon and Kim Novak as Mike and Carol Brady, because that casting is just as outlandish as this project. I’d go with Daniel Day-Lewis as Greg, because he’d add credibility, and Shannen Doherty (“Beverly Hills 90210�) as Marsha. She’d be great. For Alice, I’d cast Holly Hunter, and for Sam the Butcher, I’d go with Mike Myers. Those two would be terrific together. Of course, the most brilliant way to make this whole concept seem fresh and new would be to cast black actors in the roles. I like Natalie Cole and Sherman Hemsley as Carol and Mike, Halle Berry as Marsha, Mike Warren (“Hill Street Blues�) as Greg and Isabel Sanford as Alice. I’d pay to see that . . . wouldn’t you?�

SHERWOOD SCHWARTZ: “Goldie Hawn would be my dream Carol, and I think Harrison Ford would look great opposite her playing Mike. For Alice, I’d go with Roseanne Arnold. Now, she would be hilarious.�

LLOYD SCHWARTZ: “I think Roseanne Arnold would be a superb Alice. For Mike and Carol, I’m partial to Christopher Lloyd and Madonna. I admit Madonna is an offbeat choice to play an All-American mother, but I always thought Carol was absolutely sexy, and I think Madonna is, too.�