Welcome to a tour of a mind,...

Welcome to a tour of a mind, belonging to yours truly. Please try to stay together. You’ll notice that each one of you has been supplied with a gas mask and ear plugs. Keep them handy. The mask will be used during one point when we’ll pass the area of burning desire. The fumes get pretty intense. We’ll explain the ear plugs soon.

It’s an ever-changing landscape, as you’ll see. Sometimes it’s a desert, for those frequent times when we don’t seem to have an original thought in our head. Sometimes it’s a jungle, when there’s too many thoughts around. Never seem to strike a balance.

What’s that, madam? That gaping hole in the ground resembling the Grand Canyon? That’s guilt. As you can see, it occupies a huge space inside here.

Careful, now. You’re about to pass the Beast Who Never Shuts Up. Slip in the ear plugs. This is that never-ending voice that tells us we’re too short, too ugly, not good enough, not smart enough, not thin enough . . . well, you get the idea. Please, ladies and gentlemen, don’t give it anything to eat. It only feeds on our frustration.

On your right is an empty room. It’s filled only with exhibits of loneliness and despair.

That green, bubbling goo to your left is envy. Step carefully, preferably in somebody else’s shoes.

You’ll notice how dark it is. Around here, light is freedom. And freedom would put an end to the way things have always been done. We couldn’t have that. When you’ve grown accustomed to the darkness, seeing the light can be sheer holy terror.

Despite everything, it’s still home.

And now, we’ve come to the end of our tour. But first, see that glow coming from the corner over there? Move in, move in. Let’s get a closer look.

It’s an infant, a beautiful bare baby with curls and dimples and a huge smile. See how it plays? See how it’s unaffected by the shadowy surroundings? Here we find joy and love and peace. It holds hope in its round, chubby hands.

Still so small, true.

But growing.

Always growing.

Sorry, no more tours. We’re closed for repairs. Perhaps you’d like to try “Don Juan in Hell,” George Bernard Shaw’s play that will be read at 2 p.m. today at the Beverly Hills Public Library, 444 N. Rexford Drive. There’s a $5 donation. For information call (213) 288-2201.

Or Poetriad’s performance of E.E. Cummings’ “roses & hello . . . solongs & ashes” at 9 p.m. Wednesday at the Sculpture Garden, 1031 Abbot Kinney Blvd., Venice. Admission is $10. For information call (213) 396-5809.

The Midnight Special Bookstore and PEN Center will feature writer Dave Marsh on his book, “50 Ways to Fight Censorship” at 7 p.m. Wednesday at the Retail Clerks’ Local 1442 Building, 1410 2nd St., Santa Monica. Admission is $2. For information call (213) 393-2923.

Finally, the Southern California Library for Social Studies and Research will present “An Afternoon of Jazz,” with the Plas Johnson Quartet and Buddy Collette and His Trio, at 3 p.m. Saturday in Brentwood. Admission is $15, $5 children. For location, reservations and information call (213) 759-6063.