Gray Pained by His ’90 Season : Rams: Cornerback injured his knee in an exhibition. After that, a star became an average player.

The real Jerry Gray was lost the moment he crashed to the RFK Stadium grass on a late August night, and has not yet returned.

Some say the real Rams disappeared that night, too, also never to return.

What we have seen since is merely a wounded replica of the real thing, Gray says, a damaged man playing a position that does not receive sympathy. The real Jerry Gray, he says, would never allow himself to play such soft, safe coverages, would never go through an entire season without an interception, would never look so tentative on the field.

Gray, just a season ago, was acclaimed one of the two best cornerbacks in football, was the MVP of the Pro Bowl, was at the top of the game. And now, Gray knows all about losing and about what it feels like to be nothing special.

“You can be the best one day, and then one play can knock you all the way down to the bottom--or average,” Gray, 28, said. “And I don’t want to be average.”

That one play occurred in the Rams’ final exhibition game, against the Redskins, when Gray and former backup cornerback Alfred Jackson collided in the end zone. Jackson suffered a groin injury and Gray strained ligaments in his left knee.

Gray missed the Rams’ first three regular-season games, came back too fast and stumbled through the next four games, sat out a week, and only recently has come close to regaining his Pro Bowl form. He says that he’s still far from 100%, and only can get back there by going through several months’ rehabilitation in the off-season--instead of the four weeks he gave himself during the season.

And the fragile Ram defense, already in trouble, had to make do without one of its sure things: Gray being able to handle one side of the field all by himself. Without his flair for making huge plays whenever a quarterback dared throw into his coverage, the defense has spun out of control.

Gray had six interceptions last year, returning one for a touchdown. He had an interception for a touchdown in the Redskin exhibition game before the injury. Since, however, he has been a step away from big interceptions, two steps from preventing touchdowns. Last year, led by Gray, the Rams had 21 interceptions. This year, they have only 12.

“It’s been difficult for us, it’s been difficult for him,” defensive coordinator Fritz Shurmur said. “And I think right now he’s very close to being where he anticipated he would be when he started playing. But it’s been a tough, tough go.”

Said Gray, “This has to be the most disappointing season for me, just personally. It’s been probably the biggest struggle I’ve ever had to go through in football since being on the second team in junior high.

“It’s been like that the whole year, 13 weeks. It’s like you know that you can make that play easily, but now your body limits you. . . . You just go out and you just play, play a lot more honest.

“You can’t take those chances that will probably get you into the Pro Bowl or (help you to) be the best in the league.”

And when Gray isn’t making those kinds of plays, isn’t taking those kinds of chances, well, he’s merely another NFL cornerback. And the real Jerry Gray bristles at that thought.

“I don’t ever want to be just another cornerback,” he said. “I think if I was just another cornerback, I’d prefer to retire or play another position than just be an average cornerback.

“I talk to Coach (John) Robinson, you know, and he’s said this year has been, for me, average. Just being average isn’t good enough, not for me. I want to play above average all the time.

“And if it comes down to moving to another position, hey, I’m all for it, so I can play a lot better than just being average.”

Gray talks about playing free safety, a position he has always wanted to play. In fact, going into the season, Gray was slotted to move to safety, where he could have free-lanced and gambled, but that plan was scrapped--much to Gray’s dismay--when the Rams decided they still needed him at cornerback.

Now, after suffering through a season on the corner without the agility necessary for the position, Gray is obviously thinking this is the perfect time to slide over to the middle of the field.

“I’m just going to go out there and think about Jerry during the off-season,” Gray said. “I’ve got to get Jerry playing 100%. I’ve got to prove to myself that I can still do the 4.2s and 4.3s (in the 40-yard dash) that I know it’s going to take to play corner.

“If I can’t do that, hey, then move me to safety and let me do something else. They’ve done it with some of the other top guys.”

Gray’s injury, however, probably couldn’t have come at a more pivotal time in his career. He signed a one-year, $500,000 deal this season, coming off his spectacular 1989 and looking to cash in at the peak of his career with a long-term, multimillion deal after 1990. But that assumed another big season, not a season wrecked by injury.

Gray certainly will still want that big deal, will still want to be paid as one of the best defensive players in the league at his peak. The Rams, however, may argue that since he is coming off an ineffective season, he’s not worth a big contract yet.

“I think I’ve proven myself to the point where, if I’m not hurt, I’ll be back in the Pro Bowl,” Gray said. “And you’ve got to take chances. Took a chance with a one-year deal, and last year I was the best in the league at my position, besides Albert Lewis. . . . Making all-NFL, I think that should be something they should take into consideration, saying, ‘Hey, if he hadn’t have gotten hurt, maybe he would’ve been back in the Pro Bowl.’ ”