Priceless Gifts : What Can’t Money Buy? Health, Memories, Freedom and Love

Money wasn’t that important. Money doesn’t help you sleep. Money doesn’t help your mother be well, money doesn’t make your brother stay interested in his studies, money don’t help an argument when nobody knows what they’re arguing about.

--George Foreman, former heavyweight boxing champion

A Japanese company buys the controlling interest in Rockefeller Center for $868 million.

A painting by Pablo Picasso brings $48.9 million--the third time the sale of one of his works tops $40 million.

Actress Kim Basinger puts up $20 million for an 80% interest in Braselton, a town near her childhood home in Georgia.

Former President Ronald Reagan and his wife, Nancy, are paid $2 million for showing up in Japan.

And this holiday season, when things materialistic are supposed to take a back seat to loftier matters, the Conference Board, a New York-based economic survey group, announces that American families will spend an estimated $39 billion on Christmas gifts.

These days, if you’ve got money, you can buy almost anything. You can have someone come in and serve you breakfast in bed. Or do the dishes for you. Or even read this story to you.

In the current age of cash-consciousness, is there anyone left who believes there are things that money can’t buy? Not to worry. It appears that many people still value things without a price tag.

Writers, in particular, have strong feelings on the matter.

“This is only an age of materialism if that is what you believe,” says Wayne W. Dyer, author of “You’ll See It When You Believe It.”

“I believe,” he says, “(that) it is an age of spiritualism and magnificent change. Look at all the things that are happening worldwide that would have been inconceivable three months ago.

“People tend to look in each other’s wallets instead of each other’s eyes. You can’t buy a look into someone’s heart. Or a loving look. Or a smile. When I was in Bali recently, I saw people who had next to nothing. But they were very caring about each other. Even a family of 12 that was living in a hut--there was a real serenity.”

Norman Cousins, an adjunct professor at the UCLA School of Medicine and author of “Head First,” observes: “The retention of important memories is a gift beyond price. Memory is where the proof of life is stored. Unobstructed access to memories is both a sign of good health and a measure of true wealth.”

Humor columnist Art Buchwald recalls once seeing in a store a pillow on which had been sewn: “The Best Things in Life Are Not Things.”

Which prompts him to recall the best Christmas present he has ever received:

“I had been doing a speech, saying I had never gotten a high school diploma, which was true. My daughter, Jennifer, who was 16 at the time, heard the speech. She went to my old Forest Hills High and told them her father didn’t have a diploma.

“They decided I came under the category of a distinguished person or something and awarded me a full diploma. My daughter put it in an envelope for me, and it was a total surprise.”

Older Americans, of course, can remember a time when good conversation or an evening with a book from the library was more than sufficient.

“Money can’t buy health. And money can’t buy hope,” offers Maggie Kuhn, the feisty, 84-year-old founder of the Gray Panthers. “This is the season when we should be hopeful, but many people today are without hope. And many of them are young people. We have a fast-moving economic system, and some young people can’t keep up.”

Dr. Daniel Thursz, the 60-year-old president of the National Council on the Aging, says: “What money can’t buy for many seniors is companionship and the opportunity to be part of a community that cares.

“Money can’t buy good health. Money can’t buy you that love that comes from a kid you are helping or from any kind of community service.”

The question of whether there are things money can’t buy is a natural for local representatives of the three major faiths in America.

“Money can’t buy the human spirit formed by God’s hand that leads to the tearing down of barriers such as the Berlin Wall, or which leads whole nations to reject atheistic Marxism and seek democracy, or which prompts prophets for justice and peace to continue their proclamation even in the midst of reprisal and death,” says Archbishop Roger M. Mahony, head of the three-county Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Los Angeles.

“Money can’t buy the self-giving generosity of a mother who surrenders a portion of her liver so that her daughter may have life and a future, or which moves people to give blood regularly at the Red Cross, or which prompts us to bring an alcohol- or drug-addicted friend for help.”

Observes Harvey J. Fields, senior rabbi of Wilshire Boulevard Temple: “Money can’t buy the love of other people. With money, you can flag the interests of others and get them to buzz around you, but you can never get the kind of affection that comes from investing in a genuine relationship. Love must be earned.”

Says Lloyd John Ogilvie, senior pastor of First Presbyterian Church of Hollywood: “There’s a Christmas gift with a tag on it that says, ‘Open now and enjoy the rest of your life.’ It contains the one thing we can never earn or deserve. Grace, God’s unqualified, unlimited love and forgiveness. Christ is God’s grace with us. This gift is wrapped up in four words: You are loved now! And from the experience of Christmas grace flow peace, joy and hope.”

And who better to ask about the question of money’s significance than someone who deals with the production, distribution and consumption of wealth?

Patricia Dillon, associate professor of economics at Scripps College in Claremont, says: “An academic chooses a degree of genteel poverty relative to other career options. As an economist, I could be working in private business, making a great deal more.

“But you earn psychic income instead, satisfaction. Money can’t buy intellectual interchange with students and colleagues. Economists would argue anyway that psychic income can be as important as money income.”

At the other end of the spectrum is someone on Skid Row, where just about everyone’s income is the type that is tax-free.

“Money can’t buy freedom,” declares James Reynolds, a habitue of the streets. “I don’t have a car, I eat in the missions, sometimes I sleep on the sidewalks. But I don’t have to report to anybody, and I don’t have any worries.

“I had a job in the Midwest, and I lost it two years ago, so I came to Los Angeles. Haven’t found work yet, but I’m not sure I want to. I didn’t enjoy life that much more when I had money coming in.”

Not far away is the Downtown Women’s Center. There, manager Brenda Mitchell allows: “In this day and age, money can’t buy affordable housing. For most people, buying is out of the question, and for the elderly and others on fixed incomes, renting is tough.

“People think that what other people need is food, but an equal need is a roof over one’s head. It is something we as a society must pay attention to.”

Family and friends also rate high among life’s priceless commodities.

“My wife and I have a 15-month-old son, Michael Jr.,” says Dodgers outfielder Mike Marshall. “Having him and the happiness we have as a family is something money cannot bring.”

Restaurateur Wolfgang Puck adds: “Mostly, what money can’t buy is time. Be it for Thanksgiving or Christmas, everybody wants time to spend with family and friends. When I had no money, I had time. Now that I have some money, I find I have less time. Also, money can’t buy real friends. A lot of people think that just by having money they automatically have friends. But actually they are lonely.”

And in this season of good will, at least one takes a global view. Says actor Jack Lemmon: “Money cannot buy peace.”

Finally, some thoughts turn to what makes the world go round:

“What can’t money buy?” asks lawyer Gloria R. Allred. “Peace of mind. Equality. Justice. It cannot necessarily buy the love of your children. It cannot necessarily buy an end to the human condition of loneliness. It cannot buy integrity.”

Chef and author Julia Child says: “Money certainly can’t buy love--and that is very pertinent in cooking. Loving care is what makes beautiful food. And money can’t buy the love you need to create a good dish.”