POP MUSIC REVIEW : Baggage Stops Jets From Taking Off

When was the last time you saw several colorfully costumed Polynesian dance routines in the middle of a contemporary pop music show?

But then the Jets’ performance Wednesday night at the Universal Amphitheatre was more like a studio tour attraction than a concert. Sponsored by a corn-chip company, this evening of aural junk food was part Las Vegas revue, part Saturday afternoon kid show and part South Seas version of “Star Search.�

The seven members of the Tongan-American Wolfgramm family have had a few catchy dance hits (“Curiosity,� “Crush on You�), but nothing could prepare the unsuspecting for a show that recaptured all the excitement of Pink Lady (breathy-voiced duets between Elizabeth and Moana) meeting a bad Michael Jackson impersonator (Rudy, complete with Jackson-like whoops and leg moves).

Add to this lame cover versions of soul classics by Aretha Franklin, Al Green, the Del-Phonics, even Sheila E.’s “The Glamorous Life,� and it’s no wonder that at least one 8-year-old girl who had a math test the next day was content to leave early. After all, how are you going to top a Tongan fire dancer?

Second-billed Jermaine Stewart, ex-Shalamar mate of Jody Watley, is best known for singing “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off.� Maybe not take them off, but Stewart changed outfits at least four times during a stylish and snappy set of well-choreographed clothes-horse funk by his group, the Party. The set was paced to a drop-dead T, with Stewart managing to maintain a vital connection with his audience that was as impressive as his sartorial splendor.

The Jets, Stacey Q and Jermaine Stewart will play tonight at 7 and 10:30 p.m. at the Celebrity Theatre, 201 E. Broadway, Anaheim. Tickets: $20. Information: (714) 999-9536.