Infinite Debris

There was an article in the paper Sunday about guru Shirley MacLaine and the 650 souls who plunked down three bills each to hear about her past lives and her conversations with visitors from outer space.

Now, we’re as open-minded as the next person, so we read with interest what wisdom she had acquired by these irregular means and is now dispensing in numerous autobiographies and two-day seminars. “The cosmic law spirals the light,” she said, according to Sunday’s report. “Everything takes on a different perspection when you’re right in the middle of it.” “Love travels faster than light. It’s a question of frequencies.” “All time is happening at the same time.” “The vibrational oscillation of nature is quickening.”

Huh?

Reading on, we found: “Touch your divine mass purpose.” “Float above the garden.” “Recall your memory past and present.”

We’d feel in a better position to evaluate these assertions if we had a clue to what they meant. Meantime, we’ll have to console ourselves with the knowledge that the Umwelt and the Mitwelt and the Weltanshauung of the whole is as large or as small as the seer perceives, and all is as dust to the universe of atoms and atoms of universe, light and dark, to the infinite end.

One part of Miss MacLaine’s speech we did get, though: “Hurry up and clean up the karmic debris.”

Amen, sister.