Commentary : A Rise in Over-the-Counter Bliss

If you think Disneyland is the happiest place on earth, you should see the Orange County marriage license office in June. June is without exception, the busiest month of the year. Last June, 1,515 couples bought their license and tied the knot. This year it’s even busier.

But our work doesn’t end with issuing the license. Many couples want us to perform the ceremony, too, so our office also offers a quick, over the counter ceremony. I am one of the marriage commissioner’s deputies who performs those weddings.

It’s certainly not the tunnel of love, but for some couples our civil ceremony fits their personality, life style and budget. Some couples even come in to be married during their lunch break from work.

The over-the-counter weddings began in early 1982. Before that, we had a private room complete with plastic plants, a couch and a pedestal. The commissioners wore robes and stood at the pedestal. The robes came in a choice of four colors, blissful blue, gleaming green, matrimony maroon and of course beloved black.

Now we just unite couples at the end of the same counter where we conduct all our business. We have termed this small, colorless space “The Chapel.” At times we place a plant or flowers in our “chapel” to brighten it up as much as possible.

A large number of the people we marry are on their second, third or fourth marriage. A few are surprisingly on their 10th and 11th try. Pregnant brides are also a familiar sight. Occasionally one will faint.

In the nearly seven years that I have been marrying people in this office, I have noticed some trends. I see more older brides with the younger bridegrooms. With some couples there is an age difference of as much as 30 years.

Another trend is the “Play It Again, Sam” couple. They go through the time and expense of a divorce just to turn around and marry each other again. I still recall the day four people came in together. They were two married couples who had been divorced on the same day and then swapped spouses. They were one big happy family.

Performing these wedding ceremonies is a unique experience. After I married my first couple I was was absolutely horrified to face the realization that I could do such a thing. I’ll never forget how happy I was the day I received a thank-you card from them. They knew it was my first, as it was theirs, so we were equally nervous.

Since then I have married thousands of couples. I’m not nervous anymore. But I still get excited and caught up with the romance and enthusiasm of the brides and grooms.

Although some couples may marry for the wrong reasons, many more marry for the right ones. Most couples are truly in love. They feel they belong together for the rest of their lives. They take their vows seriously. It’s an important moment for them. For me, too. Those weddings make my job rewarding.

I especially like elderly couples. I admire the wisdom they have achieved over their lifetime. They have lived the history I only studied in school.

They mean a lot to me because they have been through so much and because this ceremony makes me a part of helping them continue the rest of their lives in love.

Being married in a county office does raise one problem for the bride and groom: What to wear to their wedding. Anything goes. Some brides come in wearing full length wedding gowns, complete with a veil and flowers; their groom often wears a tuxedo. Others wear cut-off jeans, torn T-shirts and sunglasses. A few weeks ago, I encountered a groom dressed in a tuxedo from the waist up and shorts with high top tennis shoes from the waist down.

A lot of couples stick in my mind, but one couple in particular really amazed me. I called them to the counter to marry them but they were not in the office. I walked out of the office into the main corridor to look for them. I found them passionately rolling around on the floor in the hallway, their belongings scattered everywhere. I married them quickly.

I conducted a lot of relatively “quick” weddings on Valentine’s Day in 1985 when I married 50 couples, my personal one-day record. In all, the office married 3,160 couples in 1985--a county record that will no doubt be broken this year. I hope so. The more weddings I perform, the more people I make happy, including me.