Onto Each Project Some Rain Must Fall

Today the roof is leaking again! It also leaked yesterday and last month and last year, and it will probably leak again next month and next year.

But that is a small price to pay for the thrill of being a do-it-to-yourselfer!

What hammer-and-nail man hasn’t welcomed the chance to develop his skills as a plumber, carpenter, mason, roofer, painter and general house factotum?

And what wife hasn’t encouraged her husband to try his hand by buying him a designer carpenter kit with matching carpenter apron and thumb protector? Included is a 10-year subscription to “Joys of Home Repair.� Which is all a person needs to get a running start at home improvement.

Chance to Install Skylight

And that is why the roof is leaking again and will continue to leak. But the roof repair is not the central problem. The central problem is a matter of aesthetics and installation of a skylight. Yet, who wouldn’t embrace the chance to install a skylight and show the neighborhood what he is made of?

Projects always begin the same way: My wife gets an idea and mentions it in passing. I ignore it because her ambitions usually involve expenditures. Soon she mentions it again and expects a response, but this time she includes a second suggestion--new carpeting for the entire house--and I am given a choice.

So it’s off to Skylight World, where we are given coffee and catalogues and the expertise of skylight engineers.

“These skylights are guaranteed against heat, cold, fading, cracking, crumbling and collapsing. And we will install them for less than you think.� Whereupon the salesman zips out his calculator and adds items not previously mentioned.

‘Anybody Can Do It’

“Or, to save costs, you can install them yourself,� he counseled. “Instructions are included. Anybody with a hammer and saw can do it. It’s the economical way to go.�

“Have you done it?�I asked.

“Oh, no. I live in an apartment. But we have a video demo. I’ll set it up for you.�

We watched the demo. There was a guy in a suit on a roof. In two minutes he measured out a space, cut out a rectangle, put in a frame, caulked the cracks, placed the skylight on the frame and nailed it down. The day was quite sunny, as I recall.

“Surely you can do that?� my wife said.

“Why not?� I smiled, thinking of the new carpet we wouldn’t have to buy.

‘A Great Job’

The plans were simple enough. Measure a spot on the roof. Cut through the shingles and sub-roofing boards and the interior ceiling.

Next, I installed the frame for the skylight. It was the easiest part, except the skylight was too small for the frame. No matter. All I had to do was make the opening a little smaller. I did. Then I placed the skylight over the frame, caulked the cracks and replaced the shingles.

“You did a great job,� my wife told me. Isn’t it pleasant to have so much light in this room? The plants will love it.�

I thought so, too. Of course in midsummer, when the sun passed directly over the skylight, I was required to climb on the roof and cover the skylight with canvas to reduce the 73% of the sun’s rays that were coming through. But the plants loved the sun.

December came, and so did the leaks. Roof leaks never have a starting place. They seldom appear in the same place twice. They never go away. And no amount of caulking stops them. But the plants loved the rain.

Roofer Guaranteed Job

In January, I repaired the leaks again. And in February. But in March we called in a roofer who guaranteed to stop leaks. The fact that his charge was more than it would have cost for professional installation of the skylight did not escape me.

In late April, a surprise rain tested the roofer’s guarantee. The roof leaked. But the roofer was a man of his word. He returned and repaired the roof.

The next December the roof leaked once more. By then, the roofer was out of business, and so was his guarantee. I could see why.

Plants Are Thriving

Yet, through it all, my wife was a good sport. “I love the skylight!� she exclaims on sunny days. On rainy days, she stays in other rooms. The plants have thrived on the seasonal changes in our family room.

And, as I say, my wife is a good sport. A few minutes ago she appeared in the doorway.

“This summer, after we get the leaks fixed, we’ll have to have new carpeting. Don’t you agree?�

That was the exact moment when the roof caved in.