Charlie Sheen naked and intoxicated ... again! The ultimate Hollywood sequel

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What could go wrong when a middle-aged dad dutifully goes to New York to visit his ex-wife and two daughters? Well, if the dad is Charlie Sheen, I guess the answer is ... everything. According to a variety of showbiz posts, police were called to the Plaza Hotel at 2 a.m., where they found ‘an intoxicated male,’ that apparently would be Sheen, naked and drunk after having trashed his hotel room. Sheen told police he had been out partying, when he snorted cocaine, and had become enraged when he returned to his hotel room and found his cellphone and wallet missing. Oh, and along the way, he’d picked up a female escort, perhaps to help find that pesky cellphone.

Normally, I wouldn’t bother to comment on Sheen’s spectacularly self-destructive private life. If I were to do a roll call of all the times authorities have been called to deal with incidents involving Sheen’s drug, alcohol and domestic-violence problems, we’d be here all day. In fact, I’m surprised Sheen hasn’t already sued the makers of ‘The Hangover’ for stealing his life story. Let’s just say the troubled actor has been accused of domestic violence multiple times and is actually barred from possessing guns for the rest of his life.

But Sheen’s publicist, Stan Rosenfield, is giving the story legs by claiming that his client wasn’t actually drunk at all when he got naked and destroyed his hotel room. As Rosenfield tells it: ‘What we are able to determine is that Charlie had an adverse allergic reaction to some medication and was taken to the hospital, where he is expected to be released tomorrow.’

A veteran publicist who got his start in the WIlliam Morris mail room, Rosenfield is an expert at protecting his clients (who include Robert De Niro, Danny DeVito and George Clooney). He never volunteers any admission of guilt unless absolutely necessary. For example, several years ago, DeVito showed up on the set of ‘The View’ slurring his speech and rambling incoherently about a visit to the White House during the Clinton years. DeVito freely admitted on the show that he’d been out partying with Clooney the night before, adding, ‘I knew it was the last seven limoncellos that was going to get me.’

But when Rosenfield was asked about his client’s inebriated state, he insisted that he had ‘no idea’ whether DeVito was drunk during his appearance but emphasized that the actor had never had a drinking problem. You can bet Rosenfield won’t go that far with Sheen. But if I get arrested for trashing a hotel after losing my wallet, I’m calling Stan -- I’m sure he’d come up with a wonderful way of explaining it all away. Temporary insanity, anyone?