James Franco on “General Hospital,” six lines in

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James Franco, movie actor, Golden Globe winner, ‘Freaks and Geeks’ class of 2000, began his guest arc on the extremely long-running ‘General Hospital’ today. It is quite some time since I paid any attention at all to the goings-on in fictional Port Charles, N.Y. These days the landscape is dominated by Italian gangsters of the post-’Sopranos’ variety, some of whom are apparently less villainous than others. There are also: a woman who runs or works for an art gallery and her perky assistant; some security specialists of no clear moral convictions; a cop; and a couple of women whose specific roles I could not divine, apart from the sex. There was no hospital in evidence, general or otherwise -- nor any doctors, for that matter, or likely holders of doctorates.

The soap opera is an exceedingly talky medium. Franco -- who, it seems, will be firmly established next week as a famous yet mysterious graffiti artist, named Franco -- had exactly six lines in his debut episode, spread over the hour: ‘Spare any change?’; ‘Quickest way to catch cold, Wylie -- always keep your head covered’; ‘It’s open’; ‘Good’; ‘Later’; and ‘They’re expecting me.’ The first was spoken to some mobsters just before a big shootout on the steps of a soundstage-built brownstone. (Afterward, Franco crushed the windpipe of a dying hood with his foot, then rearranged the body.) The second was to a mannequin, on which he placed a cap. And the rest were to a mysterious woman with an English accent who came over to his studio to give him a straight-razor shave and a long kiss. Mostly he lurked, ‘disguised’ as a homeless person, his face half-hidden or turned away. When the camera finally allowed us a good look at him, he did shine like the superior screen presence he is.

It is hard to tell yet just where on the good-evil scale Franco is meant to fall -- actually, it is hard to tell that about any of these characters, a situation I would imagine that more familiarity would only partly relieve. But artists on TV shows are usually some sort of crazy, and all signs so far point to trouble.

-- Robert Lloyd