‘90210’: Naomi pushes send, the boys seem hungry, and the sun hasn’t come out for Annie

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No one would mistake ‘90210” as a good example of traditional values, but tonight’s episode really drove that point home. I mean, c’mon – right now, Liam is the show’s moral compass? No wonder the entire cast is lost. Let’s break it down:

Liam’s loyalty

We spent some time with Liam’s parents in this episode. His mother, who is ambiguously ethnic, plays good cop to his stepfather’s bad cop (latter is played by silver fox John Schneider, most famous for his role in “The Dukes of Hazzard” and Clark Kent’s dad in “Smallville”). Liam’s stepfather comes off as shallow, bullheaded and mouthy. That explains Season 1 Liam. So, what explains Season 2’s? Turns out, next time he gets into trouble, Liam is going straight to, wait for it, juvie! I didn’t even know parents used that threat any more! It’s nice to know some things don’t change.

So, I’d like to think that Liam is trying to save Naomi some anguish, but really he’s just trying to save himself some. His loyalties are still firmly to himself.

Sister, sister

Naomi and Jen still follow rule No. 1: This is their world, you’re just the hired help. Sure, Naomi is only manipulating tech nerds while Jen is juggling Mr. Matthews and millionaires, but it’s only a matter of time before Naomi graduates. I had some hope for her when she started to voice her doubts that Annie and Liam slept together, but just like a comb in that hair of hers, my hope was soon lost.

Both Liam and Annie have already told her the truth, but does Naomi believe them? No, because the only thing she has known her entire life (as evidenced by her cheating dad and trust fund-stealing sister) is manipulation. The truth is the Clark House is all about whatever makes you feel better. So, back to rule No. 1....

Boys will be boys

Why has Dixon become the king of the dudes? You’d think after last week’s cabana-gate, Navid would have smartened up. But, no, he’s thoroughly worshiping at The Church of Dixon and delivering sermons about girls being like Chinese food. Huh? These guys have a rude awakening coming for them, because right now Naomi is running the gals. Naomi vs. Dixon? No contest.

Cloudy with a chance of Annie

Does anyone remember ‘Pig-Pen,’ that Peanuts character who just travels around in his own dust cloud? That’s Annie right now. She’s in a constant cloud all the time and things just get messier for her. After pleading with Naomi not to send her naked picture out, Naomi did it anyway (factor in some of Jen’s influence here).

Oh, and did anyone notice that although Annie wasn’t supposed to know the picture existed, she was looking straight into the camera horrified? If that’s her default sexy face, I suddenly have a new appreciation for Ethan.

How about the scene when Annie discovers the text went out? I think I could have watched that a hundred times -- all of West Bev staring at her naked image on their phones. It was so “Cruel Intentions.” And as if that wasn’t bad enough, she later finds out it was Teddy who found the body that she hit last season. I’m thinking it’ll be a while before Annie can clean up her act.

Sadness. Who’s ready for Teddy’s yacht party?!

-- Jethro Nededog