Recap: ‘True Blood’ Season 2, Episode 8

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More than halfway through Season 2 it has become clear that Alan Ball and his talented crew of writers and actors are intent on making sure that ‘True Blood’ remains one of the most creative and patently wild shows on television.

This week’s episode began with Sookie about to be raped by Fellowship of the Sun trigger man, Gabe, only to be stopped just in time by Godric and Eric. It is quickly broadcast to the church (which also happens to be having a lock-in sleepover) that a vampire is loose in the building and the church goes into lockdown mode.

In a relieving reveal we learn that Sarah has shot Jason with only a paint-ball gun. And boy, is she mad that he never told her his sister was a vampire-lover of the highest order. ‘You’re worse than Judas,’ she yells.

‘What did he do to you?’ Jason asks. She shoots him in his man parts and he writhes in pain. Then she tells him that Sookie is in the church basement. Jason rushes to her rescue.

Back at the church, Eric and Sookie engage in flirtatious back and forths before Eric feigns a ridiculous Midwestern accent and tries to get into the church by masquerading as a human. He is quickly revealed and he and Sookie rush into the church to confront Steve Newlin and his congregation of vamp-loathing nut jobs.

Steve is wearing an amazing white suit a la Jim Bakker and announces that the war has begun. Eric steps forward and offers himself in place of Godric and Sookie (whom Newlin has called an evil whore of Satan. I get that all the time too). Eric is quickly placed on the alter and draped with silver chains, which burn his skin and keep him weak. Meanwhile, Jason shows up outside the church and tells the guards that he is a special-ops cadet with the Light of Day institute. He brandishes his gun, but the men instantly recognize it to be a paint-ball gun. They rush him, he overpowers them and sneaks into the church.

Back at the hotel Lorena is still holding Bill hostage. She has also grabbed Barry and is threatening to bite him, which she does in short order. Bill pulls her off her psychic prey and smashes her over the head with a giant plasma TV screen. It’s an alarmingly brutal act, but she totally had it coming. Bill throws Barry over his shoulder and leaves. Next he rushes into Jessica’s room, where she and Hoyt are having a mutual virginity-losing bout of sex. Jessica is more than embarrassed. Bill is too intent on saving Sookie to beat up Hoyt, so he tells him that if he really cares about Jessica he needs to drive her immediately back to Bon Temps.

When Bill finally bursts into the church a gun is being held to Sookie’s head and Jason has positioned himself in a balcony across from the alter where Newlin stands. ‘If you shoot her everyone in here will die,’ Bill thunders. Then Jason shoots Newlin square between the eyes with a green paint ball. He goes down. Sookie rips the chains off of Eric and Eric turns to Newlin, ready to kill him.

And then -- we were all waiting for this moment -- the entire Dallas vampire posse rolls into the church, looking downright nasty. ‘Destroy them, all of them,’ says Stan, looking particularly Wild West. Suddenly Godric, dressed in white and looking a bit like the frontman of a Silver Lake electronica band, appears high above the fracas and orders his posse to leave the humans be. ‘These people have not harmed me,’ he says with his calm Middle Earth voice. ‘You see, we can coexist.’

Stan is visibly disappointed. He’s George W. Bush to Godric’s Obama. But Newlin isn’t moved to accept Godric’s peace offering. ‘I will not negotiate with subhumans,’ he says (more Ahmadinejad than Kim Jong Il). ‘Jesus will protect me,’ he adds.

‘Actually, I’m older than your Jesus,’ counters Godric, descending to ground level. Newlin still goads him on, saying that they should just kill him. (He wants his war as bad as I want a boyfriend with a job.) Godric won’t budge, and he sends his posse home. As Jason is leaving, Newlin hurls an insult at him. Jason turns around and gets up in his face to say, ‘I reckon if I’ve ever been to heaven it was inside of your wife.’ Zing! Remember that one next time you really want to bum out one of your married friends. It works every time.

Let’s not forget about our friends back in Bon Temps. At Merlotte’s Lafayette is reading Tara’s tarot cards and he sees something (the justice card) that really spooks him. Just then Eggs walks in, distraught that he has lost a bunch of time in a blackout again. That’ll happen when you get turned into a demon and ordered to kill a shape shifter. Tara takes him home.

Just outside Sam is sleeping in his car when he gets a phone call from someone who just hangs up. When he goes into Merlotte’s to investigate, he finds Daphne in his walk-in freezer with her heart cut out of her chest. The police show up. It seems Sam is being set up for murder. ‘This is the second time a woman has shown up dead in your bar,’ says Sheriff Dearborne. ‘And nothing about your past ever checks out.’

Fortunately (or not) Andy shows up, still filthy from his travails in the woods, and tells the sheriff that Sam almost got killed by a ‘bull in a dress with claws.’ That helps a lot. At this point everyone thinks Andy is just crazy and drunk. Bud locks up Sam anyway, as much for his own protection as out of suspicion. A few stragglers from the previous night’s orgy are also in jail, one for having sex with a pine tree.

Back at Sookie’s house Mary Ann is lovingly cooking Daphne’s heart (in graphic detail) with celery, carrots and onions. In the living room Tara and Eggs talk about how it may be no coincidence that people all over town are blacking out and Eggs tells Tara he may have done something ‘real bad.’

Mary Ann suggest they ease up on the partying and relax by eating a pot pie that she just cooked called ‘hunters souffle.’ Tara cuts into it and it oozes red juice. She and Eggs eat it gluttonously, getting blood all over their faces and acting crazy like they just swallowed a mushroom cap or two. When they’ve finished the heart pie they get all handsy with each other and then start slapping each other as hard as they possibly can. Their eyes go black and they mount each other on the hall rug. Mary Ann is pleased.

Cut to Godric’s lair, where a very tame vampire party is in full swing. Bill is struggling to explain to Sookie why he didn’t come to her rescue. The Lorena part is hard for him. Jason apologizes to Bill for being a member of a vampire-hating group and gives him a big hug. Then Bill tells Eric to avoid Sookie for good. Eric plays coy. Suddenly Isabel enters with Hugo and throws him down at Godric’s feet. ‘This is the one who betrayed us,’ she says. Godric asks if she still loves him, she says she does and begins to cry. Godric says that Hugo will go free. Stan is freaking out. He wants blood. And who can blame him, that’s what vampires do, right?

Not so, according to Godric (who is like some sort of magical, elfin fairy of goodness). He laments that after thousands of years vampires have not evolved and still act like savages. He drives his point home when Lorena shows up and acts all catty with Sookie, calling her ‘no more than a blood bag.’ Sookie gets crazy mad and tells Lorena that Bill never loved her (she also calls her a lot of words I can’t use on a family blog). Lorena tries to bite Sookie, but Godric stops her and admonishes her to be civilized and asks Bill to escort her out. Cue an orchestra of tiny violins, Lorena is terrible.

Back in the lair we see the feet of an intruder, stealthily approaching the living room. The camera pulls back to reveal ... the Lukinator! Jason approaches him, but Luke pushes him away. ‘I have a message for you all from Reverend Steve Newlin,’ he says, opening his jacket. He is strapped with bombs covered in silver chains. He lifts his hands up and presses a red button.

Roll credits.

-- Jessica Gelt