‘Biggest Loser’: Joelle can’t get a clue, while Carla needs an alibi

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Does it get any better than this for ‘Biggest Loser’ fans? A weigh-in at the beginning and the end?

There was no time to waste as the six banished teammates returned to the ranch and got right on the scale. ‘This is going to tell me a lot,’ Jillian said, about whether the contestants worked out at home, or not, while their partners were busting their behinds at the ranch.

The results were also poised to answer the larger question looming over this season: Can contestants lose the weight at home, just like they do at the ranch?

And that answer is a resounding ‘no.’

None of the at-home contestants lost as much weight as the contestants on the ranch. But many of the results were impressive, nonetheless: Shanon lost 15 pounds, or a half a pound a day, thanks to twice-a-day workouts. Carla lost 20 pounds. And Sione lost 25. But Cathy lost only 8 pounds. Laura lost just 7.

And Aubrey, a mother of five, lost just 2 pounds in one month.

‘I know I built muscle, I know I built endurance,’ she tried to argue, only to have Jillian and Bob let loose with their disdain for such excuses: ‘Don’t candy-coat it,’ Jillian said.

Back in the gym, Sione proved himself to be a monster -- much stronger and faster in a month’s time, so much so that his partner and cousin, Filipe, joked, ‘Are you sure you’re not the one who stayed?’ Even Bob was impressed by Sione’s leaping prowess: ‘Tongans can jump!’

It wasn’t long, though, before Joelle was back to her old tricks and dogging it in the gym. She apparently forgot all the lessons she learned last week. At the challenge, where the winning team had the potential to win either $5,000 or a 2-pound advantage at the weigh-in, Joelle leaned over and told Carla: ‘You can get $2,500 and I can get $2,500.’ ‘No,’ Carla said. They didn’t win the challenge, but if they had, that 2-pound advantage might have made the results slightly less embarrassing.

Going into the weigh-in, Joelle was absolutely clueless. She said she was relying on Carla’s weight loss to get them through, but also felt she’d have the support of the rest of her teammates to vote to save her if she fell below the yellow line.

What? Joelle -- haven’t you been living what we’ve been watching?

Well, Carla lost 9 pounds at the weigh-in. Joelle lost zero. Zip. Nothing. Nada.

And there was no holding back. Everyone pounced, chief among them Aubrey. ‘I was shocked,’ Aubrey sniped. ‘I expected to see her gain weight.’ (Is it me, or do you think a woman who lost only TWO pounds in one month’s time should keep her mouth shut?)

Joelle immediately went to planet koo-koo and explained her non-weight loss this way. ‘I got into higher intensity this week and challenged myself to do things I normally had not done.’

Um. Okay. But what about the fact that you didn’t lose any weight?

‘Man, could I feel the shame coming off Joelle,’ Bob added.

Everyone else posted big numbers, except for Ron and Mike, the father-and-son team that once again found themselves below the yellow line along with the silver team. As the housemates began discussing the elimination vote, Aubrey once again led the attack on Joelle. Carla once again flipped her lid that Joelle wasn’t taking it seriously enough and was pulling Carla down with her: ‘Joelle! It’s not about YOU, it’s about US.’

And Joelle once again offered up nonsensical retorts. ‘I gained significant insight into me being here, physically, and growing....’

‘It’s like she’s not even on this planet,’ Shanon later said.

The elimination ceremony was a done deal: The silver team was going home. Everyone apologized to Carla, who in her short time back in the house appeared to have made lifelong friends with the fellow contestants. Filipe called Joelle selfish and voted against her. Tara said: ‘Joelle, we’ve given you chances again and again. It’s time to stop giving you second chances.’

Afterward, contesants formed a line to hug and kiss Carla good-bye. Joelle stood off by herself.

The two women gamely got through the exit interviews, with Carla graciously offering an olive branch to Joelle: ‘My door is always open, it’s up to you’ -- and Joelle insisting that the two would continue to lose weight at home, before the grand finale.

But it turns out the two didn’t speak for months after going home, and the cameras were there to catch the first meeting.

And it was the same old thing. Joelle acted like she had NO IDEA why Carla was still angry and had some things to get off her chest.

‘Could you understand why I reacted the way I did?’ Carla said, explaining that she didn’t feel Joelle worked out hard enough.

‘I’m not sure what you are speaking on,’ Joelle said. Moments later, Joelle said the two weren’t friends and stormed out of the interview.

‘I do feel because of her selfishness I was cheated out of an opportunity of a lifetime,’ Carla said, trying to hold back the tears.

Carla says she plans to break the record for a female contestant’s weight loss at the grand finale. And we wish her well. But she should also get an alibi.

If anything happens to Joelle, she is suspect Numero Uno.

-- Rene Lynch

(Photo of Joelle and Carla courtesy NBC)