‘Gossip Girl’: By Georgina!

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Just when you think the worst things that can happen on the Upper East Side are stolen skeleton keys and Valentino dresses, ‘Gossip Girl’ introduces Georgina Sparks. Vengeful, deceiving and utterly diabolical, Serena’s former partner-in-crime (played by Michelle Trachtenberg) makes all of Blair and Jenny’s backstabbing dirty deeds look so … high school.

This girl definitely has an agenda. Convincing Serena to drink one too many cosmos is one thing (I’m still waiting for some explanation as to how 16-year-olds are allowed into bars and clubs — at least show them flashing their fake IDs!), but slipping a drug in her Diet Coke was a page ripped right out of ‘Melrose Place.’ ‘Looks like you haven’t really changed after all,’ she sneers after Serena awakens groggy and disoriented. Heather Locklear would have been proud. Later it’s apparent that Serena and Georgina share a secret so deep, dark and twisted (and possibly illegal?) that it must be kept from Dan at all costs.

What could Serena have done? (Feel free to post your guesses in the comments.)

This secret better be good because last night marked the first time anything comes close to genuinely threatening the golden couple’s happiness. Dan’s concerned puppy dog eyes were working overtime as Serena flaked their study dates and the SATs. When he confronts her at Chuck’s suite, you can see their wide-eyed adoration for each other slip away as the seeds of guilt, insecurity and distrust are slowly planted. The last scene, in which Georgina introduces herself to Dan as ‘Sarah’ -- how she knew exactly which bench in Central Park he was wallowing on is beyond me -- shows how far she’s willing to go to ruin Serena’s life. There was so much treachery crammed into this episode that it’ll be a miracle if Dan and Serena’s young love escapes unscathed.

Speaking of love, Nate and Vanessa? Really?! I understand his attraction to her carefree artist’s attitude about life and higher education, but these two have zero chemistry. Aside from being the ‘unexpected’ coupling that viewers are forced to wrap their heads around, I can imagine this union’s sole purpose would be to make Blair (and maybe Dan?) jealous. If anything, it humanizes Nate, who shockingly knows his way around Brooklyn and digs lesbian punk bands. OMG.

xoxo

-- Enid Portuguez