Opinion: Faith of our fathers

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Here’s a story with no heroes but a pretty good punchline: In one corner a group of rowdy college students, led by a billionaire’s son whose daddy bought him a $2.4 million house; in the other corner a bunch of Georgetown busybodies who are scandalized that rowdy scholars are using a legal loophole to keep their Animal House together.

The gist: Under District of Columbia law, Brian O’Neill Jr.’s house is only zoned to hold six unrelated people, and O’Neill is living there with eight of his good-time buddies. However, if the building is being used as the residence for a ‘religious community’ it can hold 15. So, using a play out of a late-period Sanford and Son episode, O’Neill forms the ‘Apostles of O’Neill’ (later renamed ‘Apostles of Peace and Unity’) and works the fact that D.C. law doesn’t specify what is or is not a legitimate religious community.

‘This shameless proposal makes a mockery of the Zoning Ordinance (not to mention religion) and could have potentially devastating effect on the quality of life in our neighborhood,’ says one local resident. The Washington Post notes that ‘neighbors call it blasphemy and a possible precedent-setting threat to property values,’ while Georgetown University is declining to get involved. The boys’ parents, meanwhile, think the whole thing is just too clever.

Frat boys who apparently get multimillion-dollar homes as Sophomore-year graduation presents may not make very sympathetic protagonists, but given the combination of crabbed zoning restrictions and neighbors who are shocked when students act like students, I lean slightly in O’Neill’s direction. Other thoughts?

Hat tip: Georgetown alumna Kerry Howley.

Related:

Cherry Hill, NJ thugs leave a pig’s head on a zoning activist’s porch. ‘The hog’s head was roasted,’ notes a local police commander.

How another religous sect was undone by subpar potty practices.