Sorry, I’m just too sore to write today

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And now we hearken back to those thrilling days of yesteryear, when men were men. As long as, you know, they were feeling OK.

Juan Uribe missed Monday’s game with what was described as ‘general tightness.’

Now doesn’t that bring back some swell memories?

In 1987, Dodgers outfielder Mike Marshall sat out a September game with what was called ‘general soreness.’ The reaction was not one of Mommy wanting to tuck him into bed with a warm glass of milk.

Fair or not, Marshall’s reputation as a player who refused to play hurt was forever cemented in the Dodgers’ Hall of Infamy. Have boo-boo, will not travel.

Missing a spring game is not the same as one in September, even if that Dodgers team was headed for a second consecutive 73-89 finish. (Of course, the next year, they won it all! Take that, all you naysayers.)

Still, general tightness sounds remarkably like what most of us feel when it’s been too long since our last trip to the gym. And Uribe’s less-than-svelte frame doesn’t exactly lend itself to bounding confidence that he’s in remarkable shape.

This is not the 1950s when players might have spent the offseason hawking Studebakers at Billy Bob’s used-car lot. Players are expected to report in February in good physical condition -- having been working out, using some fraction of those millions they’re paid on a personal trainer.

Don Mattingly, already manager of the ‘Over 30 Club,’ understandably did not want to push it with Uribe and sat him Monday. He’d already lost third baseman Casey Blake to a back/ribcage injury for an unknown period.

It should be pointed out Uribe has never exactly resembled a marathoner, and if he looks uncomfortably rounded, that’s pretty much the way he looked last season when he hit 24 home runs and had 85 RBI while helping to lead the Giants to a World Series title.

And Uribe is back in the lineup Tuesday. Maybe he has a really good masseuse. Now to do something about that .211 spring batting average.

-- Steve Dilbeck